Hottest This Week
"Please, please," he begged, "don't let me drop!"
"Will you eat my bacon sandwich if I pull you up?" I asked,
"Yes! Yes! Of course I will!" he said.
So I let him go. I'm not having a fucking Muslim steal my breakfast.
When I opened the box and saw all the pieces, I thought "Great, some cunt's already done it".
It must be tough looking down on all those roses on her arse and knowing that they only look so good because the manure has been dug in by a spade.
Sounds like something Harry Potter would say to make your legs fall off.
"To Dave's fancy dress party," he replied. "I'm a tortoise."
I said, "His party is not until tomorrow night!"
He said, "I know, but I'm a tortoise."
Pfft! What do doctors know eh? Put a few extra layers on and go for a 10-mile jog. Allah is proud of you!
"What did he look like sir?"
"He was bald, about 6 foot tall and white"
Okay no problem sir, we'll take it from here.
"All units, we're looking for a bald male, 6 foot, possibly a black man in disguise".