Hottest This Week
The UK's first bus powered by human waste has been involved in a 'near miss' in Bristol earlier today.
Accident investigators are examining a huge skid mark left on a bend.
I was reading about this 3 year old kid in China who weighs nearly 9 stone.
His parents say he's so fat he can hardly walk to work in the morning.
Lewis Hamilton declared it to be best day of his life.
To be fair if Nicole Scherzinger kissed my helmet on live TV I'd do the same!
Whenever my wife goes to the supermarket I always tell her to park in the disabled space.
After watching her spend 20 minutes trying to reverse into it, nobody is going to question her.
I've just invented a perfume made from holy water.
Eau my God.
A man in Brussels walks into a library and asks for a book about UKIP.
The librarian says, "Get the fuck out."
The man replies, "That's the one."
A California man has stabbed his potential employer during a job interview.
At least now he knows where he sees himself in five years.
"Can we have 'Punctuation Sex' tonight?" I asked the wife.
"What do you mean, 'Punctuation Sex?" she queried.
"It's where I put my semi in your colon ..."
I was on a date with a girl last night when I asked, "Can you give yourself oral sex?"
"No," she replied. "Can you do it?"
I said, "Yes, take your knickers off."
"Why has everything got to be a game with you?" My wife sighed.
"An excellent question love" I said, "but next time, please use the buzzer."