Hottest This Week
Just saw on the news that some poor bastard was trapped in a room full of Australians.
There is an old saying that goes "Don't shoot the Messenger."
I just feel that mankind might have been better off if an exception had been made in the case of the prophet Mohammed.
My girlfriend always asks me to text her when I get in.
That's how small my cock really is.
I asked my wife, "What's your opinion on the state of English football?"
"It's shit," she replied. "Absolute crap."
"More than likely," I said, "but let's hear it anyway."
Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter.
He runs Facebook.
I feel sorry for my poor wife.
She doesn't know about my rich wife.
I think the best thing about Christmas is waiting to see what Christmas movie North Korea has allowed us to watch.
My girlfriend said that I should use the term 'make love' instead of 'fuck.'
What the make love is she talking about?
I was fucking this older woman, when she said, "You know, you remind me of my son."
I said, "Let's not make this weird, gran."
As a postman, I read the most heart-wrenching letter from a little girl to Santa. How her mummy and daddy had no money and how she only wanted a chocolate bar for Christmas.
Anyway. There was no money in that one so I sealed it and re-posted it.