Following the attacks in Paris last week, no matter what you think about Mancunians, you've got to give respect to the Manchester City fans who observed a 90 minute silence in their game against Liverpool.
A man on his deathbed requested his wife, 3 sons, his nurse and a camera to be set up to record his final moments. Which were as follows...
"To my son, David, I leave the 2 blocks of flats in the East End of London. To my other son, Michael, I leave the 4 penthouses in Chelsea, and finally to my eldest son, Kevin, I leave the big glass building near Tower Bridge."
With that he slipped away. The nurse turned to the wife and said, "I never realised your husband was so wealthy. You and your sons are very lucky."
His wife swiftly replied, "Was he bollocks! He was a fucking window cleaner!"