Hottest This Week
I was watching the news this morning when the presenter said;
"A man has been arrested after half a million indecent images of children were found at his home in Bradford. Our reporter Gary O'Donoghue has more."
Gary, you filthy bastard!!
I heard a funny noise whilst in bed last night so I jumped up and did all the usual stuff - checked the front door, checked the windows, shot my girlfriend five times, checked the back door.
Turns out there was no one there!
I see that in Michigan, two people are being sued for $2 million after burning down an apartment complex while cooking a squirrel with a blowtorch.
Now I'm not an accountant, but it sounds like they might not have $2 million.
Me and a few friends have just invented the Oscar Pistorius drinking game whilst watching the trial.
Anytime someone goes to the toilet, you have four quick shots.
So it's twenty five years since the Hillsborough disaster.
It seems like only yesterday when I heard about it. And the day before, and the day before that, and the day before that......
I was impressed by the minute's silence in Liverpool earlier for the Hillsborough victims.
I was certain they couldn't go that long without mentioning it.
What's the best thing for getting chewing gum out of your hair?
Thank god no scousers died on flight MH 370,
We'd still be hearing about it in 2039.
One hundred and two years ago today, RMS Titanic sunk on it's maiden voyage with the loss of over one thousand souls, yet there's been fuck all in the papers about it.
Thank fuck tickets were too pricey for Scousers or we'd never hear the end of it.
So apparently many Christians are in an uproar over the movie Noah, claiming they made too much of the plot up. Apparently the fictitious movie about a fictitious story from a fictitious book wasn't historically accurate.