Hottest This Week
Girl comes into the pub with half her tits showing, I look at them, I'm the pervert...
I walk into the pub with half my cock showing...Girl looks at it...I'm still the pervert!?
Police in Glasgow have confirmed they have arrested a man who climbed on the roof of a pub to paint 'HAPPY ST. ANDREWS DAY' in giant white letters.
Fortunately they managed to stop him after he only had time to finish the 'H'.
Sean Connery has always said he would leave The Bahamas and return to his homeland of Scotland, if it ever gained independence.
He must be shitting himself.
I got into an embarrassing situation at a swingers' party last night. I snuck up behind an older lady, started fucking her from behind then looked up and suddenly realised that the guy at the other end of the spitroast, getting a blowjob, was my dad.
I said, "After 30 years of marriage I can't believe you're being unfaithful to mum."
He said, "I'm not."
So Charles Saatchi was married to a woman who could be a chef in the kitchen, a tart in the boudoir, and who had access to Class-A drugs?
And he divorced her?
No wonder his fucking advertising agency went out of business.