Hottest This Week
Daily Mail: "Child rapist who bribed his victim with VIP tickets for a One Direction concert is jailed for 18 years"
Hopefully he will get extra for the rape.
Just saw on the news that some poor bastard was trapped in a room full of Australians.
"And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas......."
Just as well really, they would only fucking ask for aid to help clear it away.
A black man walks into a petrol station and says to the cashier, "Gimme all the money in the till or I'll blow you away!"
The cashier says, "But you haven't got a gun!"
The black man says, "Sorry, force of habit. Pump number four, please."
There is an old saying that goes "Don't shoot the Messenger."
I just feel that mankind might have been better off if an exception had been made in the case of the prophet Mohammed.
My girlfriend always asks me to text her when I get in.
That's how small my cock really is.
Mark Zuckerberg says he wears a grey t-shirt everyday because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter.
He runs Facebook.
I asked my wife, "What's your opinion on the state of English football?"
"It's shit," she replied. "Absolute crap."
"More than likely," I said, "but let's hear it anyway."
I feel sorry for my poor wife.
She doesn't know about my rich wife.
I think the best thing about Christmas is waiting to see what Christmas movie North Korea has allowed us to watch.