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As the train pulled into Bradford station, I heard 2 people talking about how the city had lost its identity to immigration.

I wanted to go and educate them about the positive influences that cultural diversity could have in a community, and the many ways in which us Pakistanis were integrating into British society.

But I was too busy trying to get a good seat on the roof.
I was at a job interview today.

The interviewer said to me, "On your CV, it says that you are a man of mystery."

I said, "That's correct."

He said, "Would you like to elaborate?"

I said, "No."
Burglars have become very clever recently. Just last night my wife turned to me in the middle of the night and said "Wake up! There's somebody downstairs!" So I got out of bed and quietly checked every room.

Suddenly I realized that I don't have a wife.