"How's your new Thai girlfriend, Dave?"
"How do you know her name?"
"How about a blowjob?" I asked my Thai girlfriend.
"No thanks," she replied.
Nothing beats waking up to a blow job.
Unless you've been in a coma, and your nurse's name is Steve.
I've just seen TV pictures of people dancing and singing and celebrating at a funeral
Has Piers Morgan died?
My wife said she's leaving me because I can't do anything right when it comes to housework.
Selfish cunt, it took me hours to mop that carpet.