Hottest Today

There's a stunning little Thai girl works at the ice cream parlour I go to, always wearing skimpy little tops and micro-minis.
I love it when she leans right over to scoop me out some banana sorbet flavour, I can see right down her top and have a good look at her lovely little tits.
I never get raspberry ripple though.

If she leans over that far, her cock falls in the Neapolitan.
My wife says she wants to be a rapper.

Makes sense - she loves being around chocolate bars.
It is believed the reason so many migrants from poor African countries are trying to get to the UK is because they see it as the land of "milk and honey".

As a lot of them are Muslims, surely all we need to do is let them know it's a land of bacon sandwiches and fat slags wearing skimpy clothes.

That should make the fuckers think twice.
I've got to do a story for my local paper on big game hunters in Zimbabwe and I'm running out of time.

I've got a dead lion to meet.
My ex-girlfriend has just accused me of stalking her!

Fucking bitch!

And I'll tell her that as soon as she comes out of the toilets in McDonald's.