Hottest Today

I was showing an American colleague who was over on a business conference the sights.

"Wow," he said. "I can't believe how small and compact everything is. Your cars, your buildings, your TV's, and even your food portions."

Then I introduced him to my wife. That shut him up.
Four jets at 30 million pound each, fired four missiles worth 100 thousand pound each to destroy a second hand Toyota Hilux, the M.O.D have called it a "great result"

Which is military terminology for a fucking complete waste of time and money...
The Government have announced from the 1st October 2014 motorists are no longer required to display a tax disc in their vehicles.

A spokesman for motorists groups in Liverpool said : "This is nothing new, we started the trend in 1956"
A recent telephone conversation with my wife turned into an argument. She called me a "stupid cunt", so I slammed the phone down.

Which kind of proved her point, because I cracked the screen on my iPhone.