Hottest Today

Burglars have become very clever recently. Just last night my wife turned to me in the middle of the night and said "Wake up! There's somebody downstairs!" So I got out of bed and quietly checked every room.

Suddenly I realized that I don't have a wife.
"I'm confident, bold, and I am not afraid to take risks, " I told the interviewer.

"That may be the case, but would you please get out of my chair and wait outside with the other applicants until your name is called, " he replied.
I asked a Pakistani lad at work if he fancied coming in on Saturday morning and doing a few hours overtime...

"No sweat," he said.

"Preferably," I replied.
"I think we have a serious problem with our son," said my wife, "I just caught him masturbating in our bedroom whilst sniffing dirty underwear."

"Believe it or not, that's perfectly normal behaviour for a 12 year old lad," I replied, "He's at the age now when certain things will turn him on."

"Really?" she said, "What's so sexy about your boxer shorts?"