Ebola can live in semen for up to 2 months.
I better wash my socks.
Storage Hunters is coming to the UK...the McCanns must be shitting themselves.
I saw Guardians of the Galaxy last night.
We were actually watching Captain America, but the wife had her sister over and I asked if I could have a piece of their chocolate.
Apparently, an Apple computer, built by Steve Jobs in his garage in 1976, sold for nearly $1 million.
Which makes it the most affordable Apple product currently on the market.
I see that three 'explosive experts' have been fired by the Army, for smoking weed on duty.
Must have been one of their Bong Disposal Units.
The drink-drive limit in Scotland is to be lowered to 50mg in every 100ml of blood. So if you are drinking and driving, remember to have a glass of blood in between each drink. Safety First!
I said to my wife, "have you got a pet name for my cock?"
"Yeah, I call it War" she said.
"Really, why?" I asked.
"Because it's good for absolutely nothing."
Since we moved to Norfolk, my wife has become like a sister to me.
So the Queen sent her first tweet today...
It shouldn't be long till some bloke tweets back threatening to rape her and cut her tits off.
My wife is able to cure AIDS.
She can turn any positive into a negative.