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They say that every group of friends has one guy who's an absolute twat.
Not true: none of my friends are twats. In fact, they're all really nice - every time we go clubbing, they always give me compliments about my blazer.
A dodgy uncle of mine has been arrested and jailed because of what the police found on a hard drive in his bedroom.

A 'Property of Burnley Borough Council' sticker.