Hottest Today

A man in Brussels walks into a library and asks for a book about UKIP.

The librarian says, "Get the fuck out."

The man replies, "That's the one."
My daughter has got a reputation for being a slut.

I said to her, "People don't want to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free."

"You're right, dad," she replied. "From now on they can fucking pay for it."