Hottest Today

I took my son to school for the first time today and I was amazed at the number of mums turning up in four-by-fours. I thought to myself, "They will never use those for off-roading."

Then I saw them trying to park.
UK Headline:

Black man nearly drowns in local river.

US Headline:

Black man caught stealing water. Shot 4 times.
France is to send 120 extra police officers to Calais as the migrant crisis near the Channel Tunnel continues.

Britian has responded by stating they are going to solve the issue once and for all by sending a fleet of Glasgow Council bin lorries.
A vicar asked me yesterday if I believe there's a God.

"I fucking hope not," I replied. "I've read the bible and he sounds like a right cunt."

As it turns out, I'll not be getting married at that Church.