Muslims claim that they are the true faith, and that everyone since Adam was a muslim.
But can they explain why Noah brought pigs onto the Ark?
David Cameron says that the British people are his boss , Not the EU .
In that case Dave step into my office , You're fucking fired .
Scientists have discovered that the first known animals to reproduce sexually were an early species of fish.
And the smell remains to this day.
I always walk around with a megaphone.
If Facebook breaks I need to be able to tell everyone that I've had dinner.
After 1300 years of praying five times a day you would think that Muslims would have eventually realised that the carpets are not going to take off, and fly.
'Those people who say All boys are the same' oh, yeah because Gok Wan, Hitler and Eminem have loads in common.
Whenever I'm down at the pub,I always down three pints as soon as I get in.
It makes the punches of whoever's pints they were,way easier to handle.
Oscar Pistorius has been jailed for five years after authorities failed to find a good way of putting an electronic tag round his ankle.
After I pulled this girl and took her home, I left her on the couch while I made some 'preparations':
"I'm sorry for keeping you" I said when I joined her.
"You've not been that long" she replied.
"You've misunderstood," I said, "I mean you're not leaving."
I was listening to my son saying his prayers last night and I thought he'd gone soft in the head as he said "Dear god all I want is a cure for ebola to be found soon"
I was just about to give him a slap when he continued "and please make it involve lots of bacon and alcohol".
that's my boy! 8