I bought one of those 'Greek-style' yogurts.
There was nothing in the pot.
My wife was standing on a set of steps wearing a short skirt as she placed the star at the top of the Christmas tree.
I couldn't resist, I shoved my head up, slipped her pants to the side and gave her fanny a right good licking.
Everyone else in the church hall looked mortified.
My brother phoned me, and said his wife had given birth to a boy, and they'd named him Nelson, after Nelson Mandela.
"Why's that, is he black?" I laughed
"No mate, he's dead."
I gave up organising my porn from A to Z when I realised it was just anal.
The helicopter that crashed into a Glasgow pub killing nine people could have destroyed a Mosque a couple of hundred yards away.
And they wonder why the public have no faith in the police.