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As the PE lesson was about to start, I gave the teacher a note from my dad.

"Okay, James," she said. "Can you please tell your dad that I have a boyfriend and I don't fuck on a first date?"
A teacher asks her primary school class about their beliefs on the meaning of life.

"Jimmy, what does life mean to you?"
"Health and happiness Miss," replies Jimmy.

"Dave, what does life mean to you?"
"Money and girls Miss," replies Dave.

"And Jamal, what does life mean to you?"
"25 years Miss," replies Jamal.