If you don't have a TV licence, you could get sent to prison.....Where you can watch TV all day, without needing a licence.
I gave my first ever blow job to my boyfriend today. Afterwards I had a pint of Fosters.
Well, I had to do something to get that horrible taste out of my mouth.
So I gave him another blow job.
The niggers in Ferguson are rioting, looting and burning the town to protest against the way the police treat "law abiding citizens".
They don't help themselves do they?
When my daughter came home from school to find her pet rabbit missing she looked everywhere for it,
Eventually asking me, "Where can he be?"
" Maybe you should look somewhere where there might be carrots" I suggested
"That's a good idea" she replied
"And peas, onions and gravy" I added as I dished up stew for dinner.
So American Blacks think that the whites in the US have a negative stereotype view of them.
I don't think mass arson and theft is really going to help...
After the shooting of 12 year old Tamir Rice in Ohio whilst playing with a fake gun, the NRA has called for all fake and replica guns to be replaced with real ones in order to avoid any ambiguity.
My girlfriend asked if I could play Wonderwall on the guitar.
I said "maybe".
Apparently a Prep School in Ascot is requiring every under 12 student to buy an iPad instead of using textbooks.
In China they're requiring every under 5 student to MAKE an iPad instead of using textbooks.
An award made to Tony Blair by 'Save the Children' has been heavily criticised. 'I was robbed' said runner up King Herod
Apparently, Bob Geldof and friends are concerned that Africans don't know it's Christmas time.
So I'm going to send some Africans a nice picture of me eating my massive Christmas dinner, so they do know. I'm sure that Bob will appreciate the help.