So Labour are going to put minority voters first?
Brilliant, it's about time us whites got looked after.
I was reading that dogs can successfully sniff out cancer in humans.
Now I'm worried that I've got testicular cancer.
A UK Labour government will put ethnic and black families' welfare first.
Welcome to your second term, Cameron.
Give a man a fish...
...and he'll probably give it to his wife for cooking, which would then lead him to face questions such as, 'Where did you get the fish?', 'Couldn't you get a bigger one?', 'Why didn't you get more?'.
Diane Abbott MP has urged voters to vote Labour who will put black and ethnic minority families first.
Nothing new there, Diane. Rochdale, Bradford and Burnley have been doing that for donkeys' years.
I never go to buy lottery tickets.
The chances of me being attacked by a dragon on the way, are higher than me winning it.
What does a a silver medalist and a priest have in common?
They both come in a little behind
A large fire has broken out near the BBC headquarters in London.
Fire chiefs expect the blaze to continue well into the night, as it started in the child porn archives.
What's Nigel Farage's favourite cereal?
I walked past a rape victim support group the other day,
What a great idea keeping all the easy targets together.