So someone on 4Chan has released hacked nude photos of celebrities including Jennifer Lawrence, the Olson twins and Mila Kunis.
On the one hand, this is a disgraceful invasion of privacy but, on the other hand...
...well, that hand is busy.
Hi is that American Express? The company that promises to find me an English speaking Doctor in an emergency.
Yes sir that's us how can we help.
Well I've had an accident but I'm struggling to communicate, nobody understands me.
Ok sir, please tell where you are.
Right, I'm in Queen Elizabeth Hospital Birmingham.
I prayed to Jesus Christ our Lord that I would win the Lotto and I won a tenner.
To all you atheists out there, I think that both proves He exists and that he was a Jew
I had sex with this girl I met in the pub.
After I came, I pulled out and said, "Oh no, the condom split."
"For fuck's sake," she yelled. "How could this happen?"
I replied, "I don't know. I've only used it twice."
Paul Ross has admitted fucking a man for a year, sucking drugs off his face and dogging in a car park near his home.
When asked what he was most embarrassed about, the married father of four said, "I still work for the BBC."
I can see Jennifer Lawrence is trending on Twitter but I don't know why.
I've had a quick look but I can't find anything on her...
The body of the hacker of the Jennifer Lawrence photos was found earlier.
He's apparently the first man to be Hi 5'd to death.
My daughter went out wearing her Burka today.
She's not a Muslim. It just makes a great disguise for robbing a bank.
My Dad has taught me everything he knows.
My Mum likes a finger inserted up her bum whilst lapping up her clit.
Manchester United getting Falcao and Di Maria is the equivalent of giving somebody who needs heart surgery fake tits. Looks brilliant, but isn't what's needed.