I told my colleague that I'm taking this hot girl on a date tonight. He suggested that shaving my pubes would be a good idea, giving me a wink at the same time. So I took his advice.
In hindsight I should have probably taken her to a restaurant instead.
Finally, George Clooney got married this weekend in Venice ...
breaking the hearts of ugly, fat, delusional women all over the world.
Forcing his way in to the number two spot it's Dr Fox
I was showing an American colleague who was over on a business conference the sights.
"Wow," he said. "I can't believe how small and compact everything is. Your cars, your buildings, your TV's, and even your food portions."
Then I introduced him to my wife. That shut him up.
What did the pig say to the fox?
'Come with us please sir, you're under arrest'
Manchester City are like the Ebola virus
No threat in Europe...
A recent telephone conversation with my wife turned into an argument. She called me a "stupid cunt", so I slammed the phone down.
Which kind of proved her point, because I cracked the screen on my iPhone.
I thought Match.com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love.
So I was close.
Phil Collins has said since he's stopped playing drums and making records he's often too depressed to get out of bed in the morning. Ironic, as that's exactly the effect he had on me when he was playing drums and making records
The Government have announced from the 1st October 2014 motorists are no longer required to display a tax disc in their vehicles.
A spokesman for motorists groups in Liverpool said : "This is nothing new, we started the trend in 1956" 5