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Out in space two alien forms are speaking with each other.

The first spaceman says, "The dominant life forms on the earth planet have developed satellite-based weapons."

The second alien, who looks exactly like the first, asks, "Are they an emerging intelligence?"

The first spaceman says, "I don't think so, they have them aimed at themselves."
I came back from the pet shop. "They didn't have any goldfish so I got something different."

"That's ok." said my girlfriend, "Just put it in the tank and I'll have a look in a while."

10 minutes later she comes over to me and says, "It's lying at the bottom not moving, what the fuck did you buy?"

"It's a hamster." I replied.