The Michigan senate has passed a bill making anal sex punishable with up to 15 years imprisonment.
What do they think they will be doing in prison?
"Ha Jones, sit down, we've had a complaint from Mohammed about you using racist terms. "
"I'm sorry, Paki is short for Pakistani, same as Scot is short for Scottish and Brit is short for British. "
"Yes, that may be, but you put the term Paki in between stinking and cunt. "
Ah Pancake Day...
The day the world fondly remembers and celebrates the time Kate Middleton's tits ended up on the Internet.
The new milk tray man who is from Liverpool, has been sacked after only one day on the job.
He delivered the chocolates OK, but left with the laptop, TV, and DVD player.
I made the mistake of asking an auctioneer the time this afternoon.
"1.25. 1.25. 1.25. 1.25. 1.25. 1.25. 1.26."
NEWS: 39-year Liverpudlian crowned new Milk Tray Man.
He's described it as a totally new experience, as he'll be flying in a helicopter. Rather than being chased by one.
Got an email from the Red Cross this morning,
Subject; "Children with Guns are Not Children"
Although my wife was weak from the cancer she put up a fight right till the very end.
She was still throwing punches even when I put the pillow over her face.
More than 90 mosques across the UK have opened their doors.
The Muslim Council of Britain said it hoped Sunday's open day would allow all the flies and smell to escape.
I said to a guy at work, "My son came first in a story writing competition for under 7s at school."
He said, "You must be very proud of him."
I said, "Not really, the thick cunt's fifteen."