The new 'Annie' movie now stars a black girl playing the title role.
Traditionally played by a ginger, and now played by an anagram of it.
I got my father's weak chin, receding hairline, and tiny crooked penis.
It was the strangest will reading I have ever attended.
All these movie tie-ins are getting on my nerves.
This morning in the supermarket they had "Frozen" peas...
I asked my wife, "What's your opinion on the state of English football?"
"Its shit," she replied, "absolute crap."
"More than likely," I said, "but let's hear it anyway."
Why is it when I accept an invite to a Eid feast by my Paki neighbour and eat his halal sheeps head, I'm being multi-cultural...
...but when I invite him to our Boxing Day piss up with ham hock, I'm a racist bastard?
I hate it when people say that all Asian people look the same, it's just not true.
As an Asian myself, I can tell you that my sister has a much larger cock.
I'm sure good looking lesbians look at fat lesbians and give them no chance.
Until they see their fingers.
The EU high court has ruled obesity is a disability
Which explains why, when I ordered my usual 3 Big Macs they asked "Would you like an application form for a Blue Parking badge with that"?
I see Denmark has claimed the North Pole as their own.
Sorry Denmark, but you can't just take something just because you want it.
That's Russia's job.
I love the fact my girlfriend is Jewish.
At first it was hard to get her to do anal, but then I showed her all the money we are saving on condoms.