Hottest Today

Jeff Wayne couldn't believe it when he came home one evening to find his wife bringing herself to orgasm with a chocolate bar.

"The chances of anyone coming from Mars, are a million to one!" he said.
I was watching TV last night when the wife came in, wearing nothing but red pants, and stood in front of me.

I sighed, "Can I just finish this movie, babe?"

She took the panties off. "Why? When you can watch something better?" she said, bending over.

"Great idea," I said, picking up the remote. "Match of the Day is on."