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I got my wife off with one finger last night.

It wasn't easy though, she was holding on to that ledge pretty tightly.
This bloke in the pub said to me,

"Fuck me, that was a rough old bitch you were with last night, not a patch on the women I normally see you with, what on Earth ever possessed to take her out? "

"I had to, " I replied, "it was our wedding anniversary. "