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George Osborne saw a little old lady struggling with two heavy bags of shopping,

"You shouldn't be struggling with those two bags of shopping, let me help," he said.

So he halved her pension so she could only afford one in future.
My black mate invited me round his house for dinner earlier. I was very surprised and impressed, I didn't expect him to live in such a nice house if I'm being honest.

He should get his front door sorted out though. We had to climb in through the upstairs window.
My boss called me into his office. "Why do you spend such a lot of time in the toilet?" he asked.

"I'm a slow reader," I said.