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I've just been reading that thousands of elderly and vulnerable people have lost their state-funded home assistance as councils struggle to cope with slashed budgets. Ordinarily, I would make a joke on this subject but on this occasion my own mother is a victim and I just wanted to vent my fury at those penny-pinching cunts in Westminster. She is 98 years old, partially deaf and almost completely blind with severe arthritis and dementia. Last month, after falling over and breaking her femur bone, she lay undiscovered in her own filth for 2 days and she is no longer capable of carrying out basic tasks like cooking, cleaning and washing.

To be honest, if it gets much worse, I might have to move out.
"I'll tell you what," I said to my neighbour, "there's too many immigrants living here in London these days."

"I don't understand what you mean," he replied.

I said, "Nie ma zbyt wielu imigrantów w Londynie w tych dniach."

He said, "You're right about that, Wojciech."
I asked Abdul next door if he thought Scotland should be independent.

"Of course they should, " he said, "what right has a minority group living there got to try and make them live by their rules and culture. It's disgraceful. "