Later in the day the lead FBI agent informed reporters that "it has all been a misunderstanding and all charges are to be dropped", as he drove away in his brand new Bugatti Veyron.
I've just been reading a few thing that Dave has posted on this site, and quite frankly, I'm disgusted. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. You blindly vote up jokes about me despite the fact that you've never met me and you know literally nothing about me! It's petty, childish and shows you have nothing better to do with your pathetic little lives.
Anyway, I'd like to clear up a few things. I'm not fat, I'm not stupid and Dave has most certainly has not had sex with my sister. They have a healthy, platonic relationship. As a matter of fact, he's actually round her house right now mowing her lawn.
Thanks to my wife I don't smoke.
Every time he needed to refill his bucket he walked to the next town to do it.
Probably all those pirate movies he's made.
He said he doesn't know what the future holds, except for who's hosting the next 5 World Cups.
I blow up my doll with a pair of bellows.