Hottest Today

Why is it when I accept an invite to a Eid feast by my Paki neighbour and eat his halal sheeps head, I'm being multi-cultural...

...but when I invite him to our Boxing Day piss up with ham hock, I'm a racist bastard?
The Queen is making a visit to Australia, Bruce is at the front of the welcoming party.

"G'day Madge," said Bruce, "Can I cop a feel a yer tits?"

"One does not like to be touched." replied the Queen,

"Yer fair game for an old Sheila," said Bruce, "which one can I touch?"