Hottest Today

Well done Turkey on shooting down a Russian warplane.

Now proceed to level two where you have to destroy fifty Russian warplanes and fight off an invading ground force.
A man on his death bed requested his wife, 3 sons, his nurse and a camera to be set up to record his final moments. Which were as follows...

"To my son David, I leave the 2 blocks of flats in the East end of London," "To my other son Michael, I leave the 4 penthouse's in Chelsea," "and finally to my eldest son Kevin, I leave the big glass building near Tower Bridge".

With that he slipped away. The nurse turned to the wife and said "I never realised your husband was so wealthy, you and your sons are very lucky" His wife swiftly replied "Was he Bollocks! He was a "Fucking window cleaner!"
My wife and my ex have been bumping into each other all day.

I really should have hanged them on separate branches.