I read that Jimmy Savile and Gary Glitter had a major falling-out in the 70s.
They almost went their separate ways, but decided to stay together for the kids.
The first time I had sex was like the first time riding a bike.
My dad was holding me from behind.
After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for almost 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it.
South Korea are due to launch an investigation into how a passenger ferry managed to sink in the Yellow Sea.
After seeking expert advice from the Malaysian Authorities, they have decided to start by searching the Atlantic Ocean.
Abu Hamza, Abu Qatada, Anjem Choudary, Omar Bakri Muhammad and Hassan M. Abukar: the five pillocks of Islam.
There will never be another Hillsborough disaster, there doesn't need to be.
They haven't finished with the last one yet.
My wife asked me, "On a scale of one to ten, how much do you love me?"
I replied, "I'm still counting the zeroes."
"Wow! That much?" She beamed.
"Yeah, it's a pretty big decimal."
So a Korean ferry capsized with over 280 people lost overboard.
Not entirely a waste. Now we have 280 extra divers looking for flight MH370.
Shark 1: are u getting sick of Chinese food yet?...
My midget neighbour is really mad at me because I just can't stop taking the piss.
Hi Ho him an apology, I think.