Hottest Today

Patak's TV Ad kid.

"In the 1960s, my family started bringing in some of the best spices from India. I was fascinated by the amazing colours and smells..."

And then there were the spices.
I overheard a couple of kids arguing in the street.

"My dad could batter your dad!"

"Hmm, have you actually seen my dad?"

"Erm, he's a big guy then?

"No really, have you seen him? He left when I was five and never came back."
Harrison Ford's engine failed, causing him to clip a tree before crashing on a golf course.

When he does it, it's a "beautifully executed emergency landing, by an unbelievably well-trained pilot."

When I do it, it's a "complete fuck up, by a dickhead who can't be left in charge of a lawnmower."
It was Paddy's first Alcoholics Anonymous meeting and he began chatting to the woman next to him.
"I'm here as a condition of my parole because I murdered my husband," she said.
"Oh,so you're single then," replied Paddy.