Usain Bolt has described the Commonwealth Games as a bit shit.
Proving once and for all that there are some black men who are honest.
Now she's getting older, my wife's beginning to look a little ropey in a certain light.
one eastern ukraine separatist missile fire control officer to another
SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS
The Israel Defense Forces has warned Hamas not to retaliate when being attacked.
Yeah, right. The last time the similar kind of instruction was followed, 6,000,000 Jews were vaporised.
I was reading a bible to see if I could find the bit where Mary gets bagged by God on a lads night out in Jerusalem.
People think that grandparents were the better generation at being parents but they were just allowed to hit their kids.
My mate and I were walking down the road when a huge hummer sped by us.
"Dave, that looks just like your wife," said my mate, pointing.
"Don't be silly," I laughed. "She's much larger than that."
HSBC has told a number of Muslim groups their bank accounts will be closed but it's nothing to do with race or religion, but to do with risk.
They're closing these accounts on September 22nd.
Damn, they'd have made their point better if they closed these accounts on September 11th.
Rave organisers: Save money on foam parties by lining up a group of epileptics on stage then switching on the strobe lights.
Had scrambled eggs earlier.
Fucking tripped over in the hen coop.