Hottest Today

I just heard that children may soon be required to clean their teeth at School.

And I suppose I'm expected to buy my kid a toothbrush ?
I just overheard something about a shooting in parliament so I logged straight onto the BBC news website to find out more....

I'd never have imagined reading the word "Canadian" could leave me so gutted.
A woman just came to my front door spreading the "word of God".

I said, "No sorry, I'm a firm life-long atheist."

She looked all confused and asked, "So you believe we all evolved from apes?"

She then proceeded to make ape noises...a 40 something year old woman was making ape noises at my front door at 8 AM.

So I said, "Yeah, and apparently evolution stopped short with you" and slammed the door in her face.
Victor Frankenstein has just finished creating his new monster,
the inspiration apparently was the title to make the most hideous, monstrous beast ever.
The main body is made from members of Slipknot, with the head of Lemmy and voice of Brian Johnson,
but he was beaten to the project by a Canadian who made a beast with an eerie voice and face so horrific you just want to punch,

Its named ... justin Bieber.
What noise does a baby make in a blender?
I dunno, I was too busy wanking.