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I was feeling depressed as I couldn't afford to pay the ã5000 owed on my mortgage. I drove to the edge of a cliff and sat there for two hours contemplating with my head on the steering wheel. Luckily everyone had a whip round and gave me the ã5000.

Lovely passengers I had on my bus.
Having gone through the categories on porn sites many times, I have come to the conclusion that their are really some sick bastards out there who ought to have their heads looked at.

I mean, who the hell would click on 'wife'?
"I've booked a holiday to Cuba," I told my mate.

"You better be careful you don't get sucked into a revolution," he laughed.

"That's what Che said," I added.
My wife suggested I be romantic for once and act like the age of chivalry wasn't dead.

So I locked her in a chastity belt and fucked off to Turkey with my mates.