I saw a bloke let his dog walk straight out in front of a lorry this morning.
The cruel cunt didn't even flinch when it was killed. He was too busy standing round, trying to look cool in his sunglasses.
Some bloke at a bus stop earlier hit me on the legs with a stick for no reason.
Naturally, I retaliated and beat the living shit out of him.
Just for good measure, I kicked his Labrador as well.
I wanked over a blind girl yesterday.
She never saw me coming.
"What do blind people think about when they masturbate?"
I'd be willing to bet that it is something along the lines of "Who the fuck is watching me"
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.
Did you hear about the short-sighted circumciser?
He got the sack.
Apparently, Stevie Wonder's house has burnt down.
Bet he didn't see that coming!
I was walking down the street the other day and I saw these two blind blokes squaring up to fight. I shouted "My money's on the one with the knife."
You should have seen how fast they both ran off.
What if there was a Braille sign that said don't touch?
You know that signs that say, "GUIDE DOGS ONLY", well who is it directed at? The dog?