Coma Jokes

A woman has been in a coma for 3 months, showing no signs of recovery.

One day, whilst giving her a bed bath, the nurse notices that there is a flicker on the monitor when they are cleaning her cunt.

The doctors send for her husband and tactfully explain the situation suggesting that he tries oral sex to see if it gets a bigger response. So the medical staff draw the curtains to give him some privacy and await developments.

After about five minutes all the monitors suddenly go berserk and they rush in to find the woman stone dead.

"What happened?" demands a doctor...

"Dunno, reckon she might have choked," comes the reply.
A bloke wakes up in hospital after a car accident. He helps himself to some raisins from a bowl, just as his wife comes in.

"Oh babe you're awake! I was so worried!" she exclaimed.

"I'm fine, love" he says. "Why didn't you get me grapes? You know I like grapes."

"I did" she says, "you've been in a coma for a year."