Multiple Sclerosis Jokes
I was telling a few jokes to my mates in the pub last night, when I was approached by a bloke.
He said, "I've been listening to you for the last hour and I just wanted to let you know that my wife has got Multiple Sclerosis, my son is gay and my daughter has been raped."
I said, "I haven't told any jokes about Rape, Gays or Multiple Sclerosis."
He said, "I know, but I'm going home soon, you must know a few?"
Scotland has the world's highest rate of Multiple Sclerosis, but I think I've come up with a cure.
Deep-fried vitamin D.
Do you know what really gets on my nerves?
Had great sex with the missus last night, banged her in every position imaginable. Today she can barely walk.
Nothing to do with the sex, she's in a wheelchair.
Why are we trying so hard to cure Multiple Sclerosis?
I think we should focus on curing one Sclerosis first, then go from there.
I've just paid 50 quid for a signed copy of Stephen Hawking's new book..... why do I get the feeling I've been robbed ?
Seeing your partner in a blurred motion, slurred moaning, constant twitching throughout the night, shaking under fine movements, a complete numbing sensation, loss of awareness of local body parts.
This is just not just sex, this is MS sex.
For when one just isn't enough.
Two eyes, glazed over without sight; a body, struggling to maintain even the slightest ounce of balance; the tightest muscles in the whole world; all topped off with an incredibly high mortality rate.
These aren't just symptoms. These are MS symptoms.
My wife just asked me if I can start helping her around the house.
"Bollocks" I said, "If your Multiple Sclerosis is getting worse then I'll get you a wheelchair."