Just think - the old homeless guy who sits outside my local station doesn't know what it's like to have a full tummy on Christmas Day.
But he will do this Friday, thanks to me -
I'm gonna go down there and tell him.
Heard the latest African Nations Cup score?
Tunisia 8, Ethiopia didn't.
World hunger is getting ridiculous. There's more fruit in my shampoo than there is in an African village.
Scientists claim that a "starvation diet" can increase your life expectancy by 5 years.
Doesn't seem to be working in Africa does it?
I've just seen an advert saying that four African children die every minute.
It certainly made watching my egg boil more amusing.
How stupid did I feel when I finally found out that Hungary wasn't in Ethiopia.
How do you know if an Ethiopian is going to die?
His friends are crowding around him with forks.
After watching the advert last night on starving african kids. I decided to ring the number as advised, and pay the money! One of those would be useful, they catch more flys than that sticky plastic strip I've got hung up in the kitchen!
Let me tell you an old African saying:
So Africans have to walk 15 miles every day just for a bucket of water.
I always wondered how they managed to stay thin. 17