What's the difference between Poland and my pencil case?
My pencil case has a ruler.
What do the Conservative Party and the Atlantic have in common?
Both have gained 200 seats this week.
Police in Glasgow have confirmed they have arrested a man who climbed on the roof of a pub to paint 'HAPPY ST. ANDREWS DAY' in giant white letters.
Fortunately they managed to stop him after he only had time to finish the 'H'.
So a French plane carrying 228 people has gone missing over the Atlantic.
The last time so many French people went missing was the defence of Paris in 1940.
I don't know what the Polish are all crying about. They can easily get a new cabinet in IKEA
BBC News: An ultra-light plane has crashed into a Ferris wheel in a village north of Sydney, trapping four people, Australian officials say.
Some people dream of being a pilot, others simply fail to see the attraction.
After crashing his car into a tree and fire hydrant, Tiger Woods has now came out and said "Crash was my fault"
Thanks so much for clearing that up, i was under the impression that it was the trees fault.
Air crash investigation set to release Malaysian airlines boxset
150 people died on a Germanwings flight because some selfish little cunt wouldn't open a door.
If only Oscar Pistorius had been on board.
Apparently the dyslexic pilot couldn't wait to take the controls of the new Airsub.