What's the difference between Poland and my pencil case?
My pencil case has a ruler.
What do the Conservative Party and the Atlantic have in common?
Both have gained 200 seats this week.
Police in Glasgow have confirmed they have arrested a man who climbed on the roof of a pub to paint 'HAPPY ST. ANDREWS DAY' in giant white letters.
Fortunately they managed to stop him after he only had time to finish the 'H'.
So a French plane carrying 228 people has gone missing over the Atlantic.
The last time so many French people went missing was the defence of Paris in 1940.
I don't know what the Polish are all crying about. They can easily get a new cabinet in IKEA
BBC News: An ultra-light plane has crashed into a Ferris wheel in a village north of Sydney, trapping four people, Australian officials say.
Some people dream of being a pilot, others simply fail to see the attraction.
After crashing his car into a tree and fire hydrant, Tiger Woods has now came out and said "Crash was my fault"
Thanks so much for clearing that up, i was under the impression that it was the trees fault.
Apparently the dyslexic pilot couldn't wait to take the controls of the new Airsub.
What do Michael Jackson and Air France Flight 477 have in Common?
In the news this week:
152 die in Pakistani air crash,
800 die in Pakistan monsoon.
Now... any ideas what I should use my third and final wish for?