Good to know the authorities are still as racist as we are.
It said: "He was a bright kid who was loved by everyone".
Clearly not you daft twats, he was stabbed to death.
Then it dawned on me.
"Any second now I'm gonna get chucked out of this newsagents."
Rubbish. I'd have gone with: "You have no new messages."
Do millions of immigrants come to Britain to steal our jobs or claim our benefits?
-For every four birthdays you have, a Page 3 girl only has one. It's like the Leap Year of tits.
-If you are featured in the Problem Page photo story (continues tomorrow), chances are you are an attractive woman, who accidentally lezzes her equally attractive friend, and is left confused by her feelings.
-People who clearly have never read a book, or anything other than The Sun, in their lives, turn out to be quite prolific letter writers.
-It's okay to be a little bit racist. As long as you pretend to hate people for being asylum seekers, and not just because they are black.
-There is no problem on the political landscape that cannot be tackled by sending a big red bus and two girls who like to take their tits out in public.
-If you are unsure what to think about anything, there is a column on the left hand side of Page Six everyday that will do your thinking for you.
-When a Princess dies, you get no tits on page three for about two weeks. It's what she would have wanted.
-Brussells can go fuck itself, but we should all go to France for £1.
-All Muslims are mental, and want to kill you. Moderate Muslims only moderately want to kill you. but they still want to kill you.
-If 30,000 people die in a foreign country, it can only make the front page if some (usually about three) 'Britons' are also killed. Otherwise it's just some more dead brown people, and there's plenty more where they came from.
Nonsense, I thought.
Then I realised it was probably true, as I'd just been holding a copy of the Daily Mail.