Ian Brady says to the prison guard, "I'm pissed off, I haven't had a holiday in years!"
To which the guard says, "Come off it, Brady. A few years ago, we took you up to Saddleworth Moor. You had 3 days up there, all those wide open spaces and fresh clean air."
To which Brady replies, "Fair enough, but what kind of holiday was that with the kids under me feet?"