Weather Jokes

After putting on three pairs of socks, six jumpers, six pairs of trousers, five woolly hats, four scarves, two thick coats and a pair of boots, I waddled outside.

Ten seconds later I was laying face down in the snow and I couldn't move.

"You're coming with me," said the Primark security guard.
Due to cold snowy weather conditions expected soon, the Met office has issued a statement.
A spokesman said, "Make sure that, when you drive, you always carry a flask and a spade - this way you can have a hot drink while the spade pushes your car!"