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Well if ever there was an expert on affairs.......
As second longest serving member, Howard Webb has been lined up as his assistant.
"Yeah, right, " I said, "just as soon as Liverpool win the league."
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"I felt the slimy spineless creature come into contact with me before feeling a sickening pain" said the jellyfish.
"Your pussy?" I asked, disgusted.
"No, that," she replied, pointing at the sweetcorn on my knob.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it.
"Hold on," I said. "I just need to consult the Atlas."
"How's that gonna help?" she asked.
"It's not," I said. "I just want to confirm that I'm still living in fucking Britain."
"Why do you want to do that?" I said.
"Pwobabwy for financial secuwity," she replied.
I would tell him but his wedding is to have an open bar.
She ripped the poor things head off.
I put them on my head and robbed Halfords.
They almost went their separate ways, but decided to stay together for the kids.
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I don't know if things will improve to that extent, but you never know.
"A man has been arrested after half a million indecent images of children were found at his home in Bradford. Our reporter Gary O'Donoghue has more."
Gary, you filthy bastard!!
Turns out there was no one there!
Sand, you heartless bastard.
For those of you confused about the idea, it's like normal marriage but with blowjobs, anal and fewer arguments about who left the toilet seat up.
Their criminal record.
I was certain they couldn't go that long without mentioning it.
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It's pretty small inside. Barely enough space to swing a room.
He is being hired in the same rank of Captain by Malaysian Airlines.
The English refined the invention by first taking the intestine out of the sheep.
In 2014, he has finally succeeded.
I'm guessing they also have Ashton Kutcher, current fucker of Mila Kunis, to be the next boyfriend of Susan Boyle.
Mick replied, "So what did you do, Paddy?"
Paddy said, "I bought him a UV vest."
I'm on a smear campaign.
United could've saved millions in compensation by putting a little sign on the door.
David Moyes is said to be interested in the job.
No wonder if anyone dares to lose his respect he will just shag there wife.
A famous smuggler.
But if that were true, with the amount of wanking I do my bed would probably make itself.
A slap in the face to the doctor who actually saved your life.