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Sorry, not Amsterdam, I meant Sydney.
'Every exit is an entrance to a new experience'
"Wow" she said, "are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
I fucking hope so.
Luckily I only hit a hearse
Bin Ladens close friend, Bin Lorry, kills 6 in Glasgow.
He even had his back passage fully furnished last night.
"I think I may know someone who can help" she said, whilst slowly rubbing her crotch.
After 15 minutes, I thought how much longer do I have to wait for the answer.
Of course he was, he believed in religion.
I was arrested for child porn charges and the Judge said, "How does 5-6 years sound?"
I said, "Sexy."
"I am your fairy godmother, and I can get you out of this mess on one condition."
"Go on," he says.
I can put all the money back in the bank, I can undo all that has gone wrong, but there is one thing you must do first."
"Okay" says the banker, thinking he'd do anything. "What do I have to do?"
"I'll wave my magic wand and right all your wrongs," she says, "but first you have to make love to me."
And, with that, the dirty hag rips off all her clothes. Her tits reach her belly, her belly reaches past her fanny, her skanky skinny butt hangs over her thighs, which sag over her knees. Her skin is grey from dirt and there is a disgusting smell coming from somewhere. The banker starts to heave, but thinks, "Oh well, if it'll get me out of trouble?" so he pushes her back over his desk. She opens her legs and he discovers where the smell is coming from. Her fanny hair is matted with filth, her fanny itself is covered in scabs and the whole thing smells like a fish market. "This is not going to be easy," thinks the banker, but he closes his eyes and remembers his lovely wife. Then he thinks about his secretary, the kids' teachers, the receptionist, and after a while he is able to close his eyes, gets used to the smell, and gets wood. He mounts up and starts banging the dirty old wrinkly fairy for all he's worth
Looking down, he sees the old woman staring up at him with a half smile on her face. "What?" he asks her.
"Oh nothing," she says. "It's just, I was just thinking, aren't you a bit old to believe in fairies? I'm the cleaner."
Embarrassed, and to spare her young son's innocence, the mother turns around and says, "Don't worry; that was an insect."
To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that."
Maybe that's why they get paid less.
She was worth it mind.
Hottest Jokes This Week
I just feel that mankind might have been better off if an exception had been made in the case of the prophet Mohammed.
He runs Facebook.
That's how small my cock really is.
"It's shit," she replied. "Absolute crap."
"More than likely," I said, "but let's hear it anyway."
She doesn't know about my rich wife.
What the make love is she talking about?
I said, "Let's not make this weird, gran."
Anyway. There was no money in that one so I sealed it and re-posted it.
Hottest Jokes This Month
"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.
I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.
It was met with a stony silence. I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.
It's usually called a Staff Room.
Well I can tell you, that was an awkward postcard to receive.
So I put it under my arm, walked out of the building and went home.
Eventually he called my mobile and said, "Bring it back here right now!"
I said, "£100 and it's yours."
It really means 'I only shagged him to get something else out of him, but it failed'.
Newest Jokes Today
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She shouted, "TIRED."
It gets even worse when I put my cock in her mouth.
Just stick it on the Friar....
"Dave, it breaks my heart to have to tell you this." She began, tears starting to flow, "But with his last words your uncle confessed to molesting you when you fell asleep on our sofa on your twelfth birthday."
"NO!! That never happened." I yelled.
"I'm truly sorry, but it did." She insisted.
"No it didn't." I said, "I was only resting my eyes."
The white House has responded by saying "We intend to invade Mars next, see you there in 100 years Kimmy"
I'm going to wear it when I'm playing my drums.
Omgnoonehasnoticedme Panic attack is well known amongst Z-listers apparently.
Whoever it was, can you stop fucking about and put it back in my computer please?
I want to see his face when she just plays with the empty boxes.
I didn't know she could see me.
Easy to dispose of the bodies.
He said "This is gonna hurt a bit son"
I don't know what he was thinking.