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I see Ryanair is now charging £10 for a blanket and pillow.

Well, at least you can get a good solid 8 hours sleep while you're waiting on the runway.
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Random 5!

Just got back from visiting a lovely little place in Wales;
Lloysthwycyyrigridarbrewwthh... sorry there was a hair in my mouth.

I went to Swansea.
The only people who complain about the 'stupid' foreigners taking our jobs, are the people who consider them competition... should have tried a bit harder in school eh?
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Hottest Jokes This Week

Three Indians walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of Sikh joke?"
Three Israelis walk into a bar. The barman says, "Jew can't be serious!"
Three Muslims walk into a bar. The barman says, "Fuck off, you Paki bastards."
What's better than seeing the look of disappointment on the faces of Celtic supporters, after crashing out of the Champions League?

Seeing it twice.
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Hottest Jokes This Month

Martin Scorsese's film "The Wolf of Wall Street" broke a record by using the word "Fuck" or "Fucking" 506 times.

That actually beats a record set by my dad in 2003, trying to put an Ikea chair together.
A woman walks into a marriage counselling office.

The counsellor says, "I know exactly why you're here. Your husband doesn't want to make love to you anymore, instead he prefers watching porn and masturbating."

She exclaims, "Wow! that's correct! How did you know without even having a session with me?"

The counsellor replies, "Because you're fat."
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Newest Jokes Today

Joan Rivers was chuffed when she received what appeared to be a get well card in Arabic delivered to her Mount Sinai Hospital bed. Then a doctor translated it for her, it read 'Die you fucking Zionist bitch.'
Council officials in Rotherham have announced that measures will be put in place to try to prevent Gangs of randy asians from preying on children.

From monday Goats and donkeys will be tethered in all public parks.
When I first met my now ex wife, my friends tried to warn me that she was a bit of a slag. Of course, I ignored them all and even permanently fell out with a few.
I was blind to the fact as I was working nightshifts to pay for our new house, she was busy fucking the bloke from the corner shop.
It was two years before I found out and we had a terribly messy split.
I have to admit, I've certainly learned my lesson.


I'll never live near a shop again.
Muslim females in Muslim culture are regarded are second class citizens.

But not white females in Muslim Rotherham,

they are regarded as third rate citizens.
Firstly it was the no makeup selfie to raise awareness for breast cancer..

Then the ice bucket challenge for ALS,

Now there is the celebrity nudes to raise awareness of Apple's poor iCloud security..

But I still can't tell Jennifer Lawrence's natural hair colour.
THE latest instalment of the Grand Theft Auto video game is to be released soon with added game play which allows you to join gangs, bribe police/council officials and rape children

GTA Rotherham is expected to be on the shelves in early November...
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