Black man: My wife is like molasses - dark, sweet and satisfying.
Frenchman: My wife is like a fine wine - light and delicate but full-bodied.
Yorkshireman: My wife's like local brew - murky, not much head and bitter to taste.
Three Indians walk into a bar. The barman says, "Is this some kind of Sikh joke?"
Three Israelis walk into a bar. The barman says, "Jew can't be serious!"
Three Muslims walk into a bar. The barman says, "Fuck off, you Paki bastards."
Joan Rivers was chuffed when she received what appeared to be a get well card in Arabic delivered to her Mount Sinai Hospital bed. Then a doctor translated it for her, it read 'Die you fucking Zionist bitch.'
When I first met my now ex wife, my friends tried to warn me that she was a bit of a slag. Of course, I ignored them all and even permanently fell out with a few.
I was blind to the fact as I was working nightshifts to pay for our new house, she was busy fucking the bloke from the corner shop.
It was two years before I found out and we had a terribly messy split.
I have to admit, I've certainly learned my lesson.