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Abdul Ali was seriously injured in a car crash & he has been on life support.

Today his family had to make an agonizing decision.

They closed the shop to visit him.......
My wife thought it would be funny to throw a scrunched up ball of paper at my head and yell "head shot"

I had the last laugh though when I picked up the Argos catalogue and whacked her in the face saying "FACEBOOK!"
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Random 5!

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Hottest Jokes This Week

One of the short-skirted feminists at work confronted me for making a racist remark.

"If you were black, how would you feel right now?" she asked.

"Like raping you", I replied.
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Hottest Jokes This Month

If you don't have a TV licence, you could get sent to prison.....Where you can watch TV all day, without needing a licence.
Cheryl Fernandez-Versini has complained to the media that people will always know her as Cheryl Cole, the former wife of a premiership footballer.

That's unfair, because I'll always know her as Cheryl Tweedy, the belligerent slapper convicted of assaulting a toilet cleaner in a Surrey nightclub.
Yesterday I saw a dishevelled old hairy tramp recycling putrefied rubbish, swearing at strangers and begging for money after his family spent all his on heroin.

I just thought; No, Bob Geldof, I'm not buying your shite record this time.
I phoned my wife earlier. "I'm just setting off from work, do you want me to pick up fish and chips on my way home?"

It was met with a stony silence. I think she still regrets letting me name the twins.
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Newest Jokes Today

The US Supreme Court just made a ruling, saying monkeys have no human rights.

Guess we'll see some more protests from Ferguson now.
What's the difference between a breastfeeding mum and Nigel Farage?

One makes members of the public feel uncomfortable and should be made to sit in a corner,

the other should be allowed to get her tits out whenever she likes.
Have you tried Ethiopian food?

They haven't.
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