Hottest Jokes Today
I once mistook a glory hole for a peep hole.
Now I'm cockeyed
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Where does a Jamaican composer live?
In D flat.
I got my father's weak chin, receding hairline, and tiny crooked penis.
It was the strangest will reading I have ever attended.
All these movie tie-ins are getting on my nerves.
This morning in the supermarket they had "Frozen" peas...
Hmmm... what to watch, Geordie Shore or The Only Way Is Essex?
That's a real no-brainer.
The EU high court has ruled obesity is a disability
Which explains why, when I ordered my usual 3 Big Macs they asked "Would you like an application form for a Blue Parking badge with that"?
I asked my wife, "What's your opinion on the state of English football?"
"Its shit," she replied, "absolute crap."
"More than likely," I said, "but let's hear it anyway."
Why is it when I accept an invite to a Eid feast by my Paki neighbour and eat his halal sheeps head, I'm being multi-cultural...
...but when I invite him to our Boxing Day piss up with ham hock, I'm a racist bastard?
The new 'Annie' movie now stars a black girl playing the title role.
Traditionally played by a ginger, and now played by an anagram of it.
I hate it when people say that all Asian people look the same, it's just not true.
As an Asian myself, I can tell you that my sister has a much larger cock. Click Here For More From Today