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I see that Wikipedia is now accepting donations using Bitcoin, the on-line currency.

So now you can support information you're not sure is true ... with currency you're not sure is money.
With all this media attention on celebrity abuse during the 70's I'd like to press charges against Pan's People who made me abuse myself at 7 o'clock every Friday night from the age of 11.
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Random 5!

I was shopping in Ireland when I saw a man trying to cram a trolley into the boot of his car.

"I don't think you should be doing that, mate," I shouted.

He replied, "Are ye kiddin' me, lad? I paid a feckin' quid for 'dis!"
My wife has just given birth for the first time.

I don't know who I feel more sorry for, my son for being ginger or my wife for having to bring him up on her own.
After a pikey wedding caused a mass riot recently, the best man ended up in court. In front of the judge, he was trying to explain the traditions of a 'romany' wedding:

Pikey Best Man: "Well, it was like this, your honour: as it is a custom for the best man to have the first dance with the bride, which I was, nice and close like, the groom comes over and kicks the bride in the cunt as hard as he could."

Judge: "Gosh, that must have hurt."

Pikey Best Man: "Hurt? You're not kidding me - he broke three of me fucking fingers."
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Hottest Jokes This Week

George Osborne saw a little old lady struggling with two heavy bags of shopping,

"You shouldn't be struggling with those two bags of shopping, let me help," he said.

So he halved her pension so she could only afford one in future.
Charlotte, on Ch4's Embarrassing Bodies: "I'm getting a really fishy smell from 'down below', and I just don't know what it is."


I'm no gynaecologist love, but I reckon it's your fanny.
For anyone unclear with who Orlando Bloom and Justin Bieber are here is a brief description.

Orlando Bloom is a 37 year old English actor best known for his roles in The Lord Of The Rings trilogy and Pirates Of The Caribbean. He also had roles in the award wining films 'Black Hawk Down', 'Troy' and 'Kingdom of Heaven'

And Justin Bieber is a cunt
How many religious people does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will just sit in the dark and demand you accept the light is still on.
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Hottest Jokes This Month

Being English and choosing between Germany and Argentina to win the World Cup is like choosing between the McCanns and Rolf Harris to babysit your kids...
This Muslim I was working with on a tower scaffolding lost his footing and slipped. I managed to grab his hand as he was dangling 150 feet in the air.

"Please, please," he begged, "don't let me drop!"

"Will you eat my bacon sandwich if I pull you up?" I asked,

"Yes! Yes! Of course I will!" he said.

So I let him go. I'm not having a fucking Muslim steal my breakfast.
Argentina have put in an appeal to FIFA stating that, on the grounds that the trophy was in Brazil, and Argentina was therefore closer to it than Germany, then it should rightfully be theirs.
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Newest Jokes Today

Two twelve year girls in the USA say they stabbed another girl
and left her for dead to please an internet ghoul...

...their defense is slender.
Uganda reversed its anti-gay laws

What a bummer
A Glasgow policeman spots a huge black guy dancing on the roof of a Ford
car. He radios for backup.

"What's the situation?"

"A big fat nigger is dancing on the roof of an old Ford car."

"You can't say that over the radio", replies the operator, "you have to
use politically correct terminology"

"OK", he says:

"Zulu....Tango....Sierra"
Channel 4 did a very probing article on the spike in Anti-Semitism because of the Gaza invasion. It was presented by a reporter called Simon Israel and debated by a Pro-Palestinian Jew and a Pro-Israeli Jew.

Why do I feel, er, short-changed?.
Google Maps is absolutely brilliant, it lets us visit any place in the world you can think of. From The Eiffel Tower, to The Nou Camp, The Antarctic or even Ground Zero in America.

So then why is it, that approximately 100% of all people's first destination is their fucking back garden?
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