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How do you know Jesus was a Scouser
Two thousand years on, and people are still going on about how badly he was treated.
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A team of scouse scientists have been dispatched to Ethiopia to demonstrate to the starving people how to milk a dead cow for more than 25 years.
I read that Jimmy Savile and Gary Glitter had a major falling-out in the 70s.
They almost went their separate ways, but decided to stay together for the kids.
It seems the South Koreans are using a slightly less orthodox method of searching for the missing Malaysian plane...
There will never be another Hillsborough disaster, there doesn't need to be.
They haven't finished with the last one yet.
Abu Hamza, Abu Qatada, Anjem Choudary, Omar Bakri Muhammad and Hassan M. Abukar: the five pillocks of Islam.
My wife insists that all her clothes are shrinking.
But when I say, "They're making condoms bigger these days," she laughs in my face.
South Korea are due to launch an investigation into how a passenger ferry managed to sink in the Yellow Sea.
After seeking expert advice from the Malaysian Authorities, they have decided to start by searching the Atlantic Ocean.
The first time I had sex was like the first time riding a bike.
My dad was holding me from behind.
There is a picture in today's paper of David Cameron sunbathing in Lanzarote next to three topless women.
It's really weird that if you look closely, you can actually count seven individual tits.
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