| A salesman came to my door to sell us a washing machine the other day. I was in the barn at the time and my wife answered the door so she said to him "Go down to my husband, he's just in the barn. He deals with all that malarky." So he came down to the barn and said "Hello sir, I'm calling round to see if you'd be interested in buying my washing machine" I said to him "I'm going to tell you a story." "You see that cow?", I said. "Yes" He said. "Yesterday, I went to milk that cow. When I put the bucket under her udder, she kicked me in the face with her left foot. So I tied her leg to a rope and tied the other end to that beam up there. I got back down again and she kicked me in the face with her other foot. So I tied a rope to her other leg and tied it to another beam up there. When I got back down again, she smacked me in the face with her shittied up tail. So I tied a rope to it and attatched it to the beam above your head. I decided to have a quick pee before I started milking her and just as I was doing my zipper up, my wife walked in. Now, if you can convice my wife that I wasn't going to fuck that cow, I'll buy your bloody washing machine." |    |
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