| Is it true that Napoleon Bonapart's wife waved him off to war saying, "get blown apart Bonapart"? Anyway this joke isn't about him, it's about Nelson. See, Nelson's on his ship in the channel. One day, he goes up on deck and takes his telescope out to scan the horizon. There he sees a Spanish ship! "Hardy!" the great man calls to his trusty second in command, "go and get my red jacket. I don't want the blood to show." Hardy gets his red jacket and, sure enough, they sink the Spaniard. The next morning, Nelson comes up on deck, scans the horizon and spots two Spanish ships! "Hardy!" he calls, "my red jacket please, I do not want the blood to show." And they sink both ships. The third day, he comes up to find ten Spanish ships! "Hardy!" he calls, "my red jacket once more, for I do not want the blood to show." Needless to say, they sink all ten Spaniards! The next day, he goes up on deck, looks to the horizon and sees the entire Spanish Armada! He quietly lowers his telescope, and seems to contemplate what he has seen. Hardy is ready to go down for his red jacket and is patiently awaiting the command when Admiral Nelson says, "Hardy, get my brown trousers." |    |
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