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Jade Goody – A Biography (taken from the News of The World) 1. She faced court action over thousands of pounds of unpaid rent. 2. Just hours after arriving (on Big Brother), she had flashed one of her boobs and left viewers stunned with a torrent of foul language. 3. Jade was a figure of ridicule. She was branded a “pig”, two-faced and ignorant. Rival contestants labelled her “thick” and “ugly”. 4. Viewers switched on to watch tipsy Jade strip off during a drinking game to flash her “kebab”. 5. She thought East Anglia was called East Angular, and that it was somewhere near Tunisia. And she reckoned Rio de Janeiro was a person. 6. Jade kept trotting out the clangers . . . Mona Lisa was painted by “Pistachio”, Mother Teresa was from Germany, Portugal was “in Spain” and “Saddam Hussein was a boxer”. 7. Jade put it best herself when she confessed: “I may not be the sharpest tool in the sandwich box.” 8. “If I hadn’t made it on Big Brother I would probably have been living in a council flat with my mum.” 9. Lapping up the publicity, she once told a reporter she planned to dedicate a room in her house to all her front-page covers. 10. She started dating Jack Tweed. Jade had spotted him in a nightclub before, but had no idea he was six years her junior. She was smitten from the start, and the couple had sex on their first date at London’s Sanderson Hotel. 11. Their romance was to be played out in the full glare of the public when they both went into the Celebrity Big Brother house in 2007—joined by Jade’s mum Jackiey. But the programme that made Jade almost broke her this time as she became embroiled in a race row with Bollywood star Shilpa Shetty. She ranted at the actress: “You’re not some princess in f*****g Neverland. I don’t give a s**t. You’re a normal housemate like everybody else. You need to come to terms with that.” She added: “Go back to the slums and find out what real life is about lady.” 12. Later Jade confessed she wanted to headbutt the Indian actress and branded her “Shilpa Poppadom”. 13. Jade’s popularity nosedived overnight and Ofcom received a staggering 45,000 complaints. Her perfume was removed from the shelves and her autobiography dropped by publishers. 14. She then contracted cancer and turned out to be a fucking saint. The end

Joke by Buntycaws in In The News - Celebrity Death - Added: 3 years, 2 months ago - Current Score: 949.8

In The News > Celebrity Death

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