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A few words of advice.....

MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving.Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

McDonald's Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home a [...]

A few words of advice.....

MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving.Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

McDonald's Make your brown carrier bags green in colour so they blend in with the countryside after they've been thrown out of car windows.

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping the egg into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3 miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.

CAR thieves Don't be discouraged when nothing is on view. All the valuables may be hidden in the glove box or under a seat.

PREVENT burglars stealing everything in the house by simply moving everything in the house into your bedroom when you go to bed. In the morning, simply move it all back again.

BLIND PEOPLE Give yourself at least a chance of seeing something by not wearing heavy dark glasses all the time.