My wife's star sign was cancer and it's quite ironic how she died really...
She was attacked by a giant crab.
After hearing today that curries can cure cancer I can't help but feel that Shilpa Shetty had the last laugh.
Doctor: "It's bad news, you have cancer and Alzheimer's."
Patient: "Oh well, it could be worse - at least I don't have cancer."
My wife is forever saying I don't pay her any attention. So yesterday I was expecting brownie points when I said, "Have you had your hair done dear? You look different."
She went ballistic. I won't forget she's having chemotherapy again in a hurry.
A woman visits her doctor complaining of a strange feeling in her lower stomach. The doctor examines her and states;
"Well, I can tell you that you'll need to be buying lots of nappies in about nine months time."
"Am I pregnant? That is wonderful news."
"No, you have bowel cancer."