Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away...
or is it just one of Granny's myths?
"Shit, I've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow."
"Just cancel it. Tell them you're sick."
I work at 'The Ministry of Silly Walks'.
But when I'm there, I have to call it the 'Spinal Injuries Unit'.
My wife had been suffering from crippling stomach pains for a couple of days, so I advised her to go to the doctor's.
When she returned and told me she was HIV positive I was absolutely devastated.
I had a brilliant cancer joke lined up.
When the doctor told me I only had six months to live, I killed him violently with his own pencil.
Worked a treat.
Got me twenty years.