My doctor told me that "1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die."
The other two apparently become immortal.
For my New Year's Resolution, I have decided to only smoke after sex.
If 2009 is anything to go by, I've quit.
Isn't it funny how smokers' lungs stop working after they turn black?
A survey has shown that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
Lady: Do you smoke?
Lady: How many packs a day?
Man: 3 packs
Lady: How much per pack
Lady: And how long have you been smoking?
Man: 15 years
Lady: So 1 pack cost £10.00 and you have 3 packs a day which puts your spending each month at £900. In one year, it would be £10,800 correct?
Lady: If in 1 year you spend £10,800 not accounting for inflation, the past 15 years puts your spending at £162,000 correct?
Lady: Do you know that if you hadn't smoked, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 15 years, you could have now bought a Ferrari?
Man: Do you smoke?
Man: Where's your fucking Ferrari then?