What's the difference between Poland and my pencil case?
My pencil case has a ruler.
What do the Conservative Party and the Atlantic have in common?
Both have gained 200 seats this week.
So a French plane carrying 228 people has gone missing over the Atlantic.
The last time so many French people went missing was the defence of Paris in 1940.
Police in Glasgow have confirmed they have arrested a man who climbed on the roof of a pub to paint 'HAPPY ST. ANDREWS DAY' in giant white letters.
Fortunately they managed to stop him after he only had time to finish the 'H'.
I don't know what the Polish are all crying about. They can easily get a new cabinet in IKEA