I was having a lovely sleep earlier until some inconsiderate cunt decided to bounce off my windscreen.
I passed a sign while driving along today, which said 'No u-turn'.
So I did an n-turn instead, which actually worked out better for me.
In Britain we used to drive on the left of the road.
Now we drive on what's left of the road.
I was trying to get home in time for the football, but I was being held up by a learner driver. She was driving very slowly and kept stalling.
"Come on, you stupid cunt!" I shouted. "Get a fucking move on!"
She started crying and said it would be her last lesson with me.
I think it should be compulsory for women to wear makeup when driving.
Just so they'll look in the fucking mirror occasionally.