I work at a McDonald's and a woman came in and ordered... 2 Big Mac Meals - Extra Large , for herself - but hold the mayo because she was on a diet
Best laugh I've had all day, cheers. Didn't really read past the 'I work at McDonald's bit' though.
My girlfriend told me I suffer from a lack of imagination.
I said, "Yeah? Well you suffer from a lack of imagination."
That showed her.
My dad always used to say, "If you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?"
After visiting Sickipedia I see the obvious answer is blacks, the handicapped, and the dead.
The other day I was out in town when some chavs started on me, threatening to beat me up.
"Do you know who my dad is?" one of them asked.
"No," I replied. "Do you?"