Little Johnny Jokes
A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."
"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!"
Teacher: If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Johnny: Seven Sir
Teacher: No, listen carefully. If I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Teacher: Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you 2 apples, and another 2 apples and another 2, how many will you have?
Teacher: Good. Now if I gave you 2 rabbits , and another 2 rabbits and another 2, how many will you have?
Teacher: Where the fuck do you get seven from?!?!?
Johnny: Because I fucking have 1 at home!!!
Little Johnny was in his maths lesson one day when his teacher asked him a question to see if he was paying attention.
"If I gave you £20," she began, "and you gave £5 to Mary, £5 to Sally and £5 to Susan, what would you have?"
Johnny thought about this and then answered, "An orgy?"
Little Johnny comes home from school one day when his mother greets him with a very irritated look.
The mother says, "I just got off the phone with your sex ed teacher. She told me you are failing her class miserably."
Little Johnny responds, "Well, I hate that teacher, and the next time I see her, I'm going to kick her in the balls!"
Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said Little Johnny.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.
Well, he's a little pissed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"