With Britain becoming worse and worse by the day, I propose that we all seek asylum somewhere.
I suggest Pakistan:
We could build a huge church in the middle of Islamabad that dominates the skyline, set up chippys and shops on every corner, assault the locals who dare to come into "our" part of town, set up specialist shops selling pork products and non-halal meat, protest to the government that the name "Ramadan" is offensive to our religion, and ask that they make it more inclusive by changing it to "Starve Yourself Fest."
Fifteen skinheads chased a Pakistani into a shop and proceed to kick seven flavours of shit out of him. Eventually, the police arrived and arrested everyone.
One of the coppers walked over to the shop assistant and asked if he saw it all happen.
When the clerk replied, "Yes," the cop asked why he didn't help out.
"I thought fifteen was enough," came the reply.
BBC News today:
A 4-year-old boy has memorised virtually every bus service in the capital.
Ishaal Yewale can tell you which bus route to take, day or night.
His father, Jayant, says that Ishaal's always been fascinated with public transport and has been reading bus maps for the past eight months.
Is anyone suspicious of this or am I just paranoid?
What's big and round and hates Pakis?
I got kicked off 'The Weakest Link' when Anne Robinson asked me, "Why have you chosen Asif"?
Apparently, "Because he is a fucking Paki," is not a suitable answer.