Just been to my first Muslim birthday party. The musical chairs was a bit slow, but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick!
With Britain becoming worse and worse by the day, I propose that we all seek asylum somewhere.
I suggest Pakistan:
We could build a huge church in the middle of Islamabad that dominates the skyline, set up chippys and shops on every corner, assault the locals who dare to come into "our" part of town, set up specialist shops selling pork products and non-halal meat, protest to the government that the name "Ramadan" is offensive to our religion, and ask that they make it more inclusive by changing it to "Starve Yourself Fest."
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide.
The librarian recommends the Qur'an.
I hear stories about a new kind of toilet paper being sold.
There's a drawing of the prophet Mohammed on it and you get to colour him in!
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it fucking start?"