Horse Racing Jokes
Anyone else fancy putting a bet on Stacey Solomon to win the National next year?
Poor Stacey Solomon...
...just fell at the final hurdle.
Just before the Grand National begins, I'm going to pull my wife's knickers down.
So I can amuse myself when I hear "And they're off!".
Mind you, I probably shouldn't be wearing her knickers in the first place.
I have a near perfect system to make money on the horses. I've made several million pounds already this year and it's all down to one simple thing.
I'm the bookie.
I went to the horse racing for the first time ever at the weekend. I haven't got a clue about betting, so I walked up to the counter and said, "Excuse me. Could you explain to me what an each way bet is please?"
The man said, "No problem Sir. An each way bet is split into two stakes. The first is a bet on the horse to win. The second is a proportional bet on the horse to finish in a place. This can be first, second, third or even fourth, depending on the amount of horses running in the race."
I said, "That sounds perfect for me! Can I have two pounds each way on number four please?"
"No," he replied.
"Oh," I said, "And why's that?"
"This is a hot dog stand."