A single gene that is dramatically different in chimpanzees and humans may explain why apes cannot talk.
Oh well, at least they can still communicate through rap music.
What do you get if you cross a motorway with a flock of sheep?
A flock of dead sheep.
I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday. He said, "Have you ever shoed a horse?"
I said, "No, but I've told a donkey to fuck off."
A dog is truly a man's best friend.
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour.
When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say, "Help, they've turned me into a parrot", you are wasting everybody's time.