Dreams Jokes

I went to a psychiatrist about a recurring nightmare , where me and two friends get a bill for £25, and have to split it three ways. That's 8.33333333333..............
I would like to inform all potential terrorists that Steps have reformed and that they think Allah is a cunt.
After having a little nap, my wife told me of a dream she had where she walked into the bedroom to find me in bed on all fours, wearing a gimp mask with her sister fucking me up the arse with a strap on but before she could open her mouth a shark came out from under the bed and ate me and her sister.

She said, "It's funny how things can happen in dreams that wouldn't happen in real life."

I said, "Yeah, ridiculous... a shark under the bed."
The other night I dreamt I was shagging the blonde one out of ABBA. It was the worst experience I've ever had to endure. Why the fuck I couldn't have dreamt that I was shagging his gorgeous wife Agnetha instead, I'll never know.
I hate that dream where it feels like you're falling and you suddenly wake yourself up.

Then you've got to quickly pull the nose up before you kill yourself and all the passengers.