"Your phone just went," said my wife.
"It's only a text," I replied. "I'll check it when we get there."
She picked up the phone, and looked at it suspiciously. Then she tapped the screen, scrolled down and started reading. "I thought so," she sneered. "It's yet another crap joke from Dave about women being bad drivers."
"Watch the fucking road," I snapped. "You just ran a red light."
So I did an n-turn instead, which actually worked out better for me.
Now we drive on what's left of the road.
"Come on, you stupid cunt!" I shouted. "Get a fucking move on!"
She started crying and said it would be her last lesson with me.
Just so they'll look in the fucking mirror occasionally.
Mind you, she had three yesterday and two the day before.
I knew she'd find first gear eventually.
Nonsense. I never take risks on my way to work.
And I can get there before my windscreen's even defrosted.