My daughter has reached that age where she is asking embarrassing questions about sex.
Just this morning she asked, "Is that the best you can do?"
What's the biggest difference between men and women?
What they mean, when they say: "I got through a whole box of tissues watching that film."
I walked in on my daughter masturbating this morning.
She's still too young to understand what I was doing, though.
It's so awkward when you send a private text message to the wrong person.
The other day I wrote a message, "Hey babe, thinking of U makes my cock hard, can't wait to sex U up 2night" and sent it to my 10-year-old daughter.
Imagine how embarrassing it would have been if I'd sent that to the wrong person.
My Dad is a motherfucker.