I'm so disappointed with Henry.
As the years have gone by, his performances have been getting worse and what happened on Wednesday is the final straw.
I'm getting a Dyson tomorrow.
I sat on my hand for fifteen minutes earlier, before hoovering the living room.
Just so it felt like the wife was doing it.
Why is it better to be a bad joke on sickipedia than one of the 228 people who have gone missing on the Air France flight?
At the very least, a bad joke on sickipedia can expect to be buried.
It was my girlfriend's birthday the other day.
I bought her a new bag and belt.
She wasn't too happy, but the hoover works fine now.
My new lover is a right sex machine in bed!
And a Dyson hoover the rest of the time.
The new Dyson Stowaway, Big when you need it, Small when you don't.
Quite ironic how my wife only uses it when it's big, just like my penis.
I pet named my girlfriend Dyson.
She sucks, blows, and gets laid in the cupboard.
I got my dick caught in the hoover earlier today...
My wife walked out on me today.
On the plus side, it was better than the day she walked in on me....
How many men does it take to fix a vacuum cleaner?
Why the fuck should we fix it? We never use it!