Nursery Rhymes Jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
However, if you sponsor Jack and Jill for just £2 a month we will dig a well in their village.
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
"Pies, you dickhead."
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men,
said "Fuck him, He's only an egg."
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill
And now there's little Franky.
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own
Old Macdonald spelled 'redirection' without any consonants.
Old MacDonald had a farm,
E I E I O
And on that farm he fucked some pigs,
R S P C A
Woke up this morning, looked down and one of my toes was missing,
There was a note stuck to my foot that said 'Gone To Market'