Optimist - The glass is half full.
Pessimist - The glass is half empty.
Fatalist - The water will evaporate.
Feminist - All glasses are equal.
Realist - Glass is half drunk.
Engineer - Glass aint big enough.
Narcissist - Look at me in the glass!
Evangelist - The glass must repent.
Capitalist - Sell the glass.
Anarchist - Break the glass.
Psychologist - How does the glass feel about the water?
Communist - This glass is for everyone in equal measure
Nihilist - The glass does not exist, and neither do I
Sexist - The glass isn't gonna fill itself darling...
Racist - Where's that boy with my glass
Rapist - Just watch your glass!