??? Random Jokes
Interesting Human Body Facts
- The largest cell in the human body is the female egg, and the smallest is the male sperm.
- A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball (a bit bigger than a cricket ball).
- It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
- The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.
- The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
- A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
- If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.
- Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
- There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
- Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch.
- Women blink twice as much as men.
- The average person's skin weighs twice as much as their brain.
- When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate...they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate!
- Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.
- Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
- If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
- The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
*** You looked at your thumb... Didn't you?
I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.
So wait, if I post a letter without a stamp and just put the intended address as the return address, won't it be sent there anyway?
If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.
I never credited the old lady next door with much creativity but this morning I noticed that she has crafted the most exquisitely realistic snow sculpture of a woman lying on her driveway.
I must go around to congratulate her after work.
What did the letter O say to Q?
Dude, your dick is hanging out.
Some guy knocked on my door today and said, "I have a parcel for your next door neighbour."
I said, "You've got the wrong house then, mate."
Apparently, towels are the biggest cause of dry skin.
Did you realise that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes" and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same?
I asked a fortune teller to read my future. Suddenly, she went pale and sprinted from the room. So I grabbed the crystal ball, chased the bitch down and beat her to death.
I wonder what the fuck she saw in that thing.