??? Random Jokes
Interesting Human Body Facts
- The largest cell in the human body is the female egg, and the smallest is the male sperm.
- A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball (a bit bigger than a cricket ball).
- It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
- The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.
- The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
- A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
- If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.
- Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
- There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
- Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch.
- Women blink twice as much as men.
- The average person's skin weighs twice as much as their brain.
- When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate...they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate!
- Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.
- Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
- If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
- The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
*** You looked at your thumb... Didn't you?
I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser.
If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced.
That's why people with no sense of humour have an increased sense of self-importance.
I never credited the old lady next door with much creativity but this morning I noticed that she has crafted the most exquisitely realistic snow sculpture of a woman lying on her driveway.
I must go around to congratulate her after work.
What did the letter O say to Q?
Dude, your dick is hanging out.
Some guy knocked on my door today and said, "I have a parcel for your next door neighbour."
I said, "You've got the wrong house then, mate."
Apparently, towels are the biggest cause of dry skin.
I asked a fortune teller to read my future. Suddenly, she went pale and sprinted from the room. So I grabbed the crystal ball, chased the bitch down and beat her to death.
I wonder what the fuck she saw in that thing.
Did you realise that a woman's "I'll be ready in five minutes" and a man's "I'll be home in five minutes" are exactly the same?
I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan.
Somebody is going to be wrong.