I came home from work today and couldn't believe the state of my living room.

There was food scattered all over the carpet, shit all up the wall and only what I can assume is paint all over the sofa.

Then I walked into the kitchen and there was my two-year-old son, sitting on the floor smiling at me as he licked out an old tin of shoe polish.

The little fucker, that's the last time I trust him in the house on his own.
Click Here For Similar Jokes!