Man 1 - I haven't seen you here before.
Man 2 - I just got back from Afghanistan.
Man 1 - Wow, how was it.
Man 2 - Well, on my first day our base was attacked by rocket fire and shrapnel got lodged in my best friends spine, so I used my field medical training to isolate the wound and carefully remove the shrapnel without any nerve damage. He recovered after about 5 months. Then two days later, we were sent into the red zone and came under heavy fire. I managed to take out seven insurgents which led to their withdrawal, meaning we could return home safely with no casualties.
Man 1 - Oh my God. You're a hero. I have to buy you a drink, what are you having?
Man 2 - WKD
Man 1 - Fuck off you cunt.