Had the Large Hadron Collider experiment failed, the DFS sale would have actually ended.
My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people's ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject's memory.
Why didn't I think of that?
Parallel lines have got so much in common.
It's a shame they'll never meet.
Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82.
I'm easily lead.
I'm a science teacher and once I asked one of my lazy students if he knew the chemical symbol for sodium. He replied, 'Na'.
I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you
The more you have the longer you live
Why are our scientists trying to cure cancer and save cunts like Andrew Lloyd Webber when they should be genetically modifying animals into Pokémon?
My physics teacher told me I had a lot of potential. Then he pushed me off a roof.
Two scientists walk into a bar, and decide to have a drinking contest.
The first walks up to the barmaid and says, "I'll have a glass of H2O, please."
The second scientist says, "I'll have a glass of H2O, too."
Needless to say, the first scientist won.
A piece of gold walks into a bar.
The Barman says "Au, get out of here"