Social Networks Jokes
Interesting Human Body Facts
- The largest cell in the human body is the female egg, and the smallest is the male sperm.
- A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball (a bit bigger than a cricket ball).
- It takes food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.
- The attachment of human muscles to skin is what causes dimples.
- The average man's penis is three times the length of his thumb.
- A woman's heart beats faster than a man's.
- If the average male never shaved, his beard would be 13 feet long when he died.
- Men with hairless chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair.
- There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
- Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body could cover about one square inch.
- Women blink twice as much as men.
- The average person's skin weighs twice as much as their brain.
- When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate...they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate!
- Your ears secrete more earwax when you are afraid than when you aren't.
- Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
- If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.
- The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man.
*** You looked at your thumb... Didn't you?
I have a friend on Facebook whose status says "Suicidal - Standing on the edge of a cliff".
So I poked him...
'A Glasgow teenager has been charged by police after a photo of himself brandishing a machete was found on the social networking site Bebo.'
What a loser!
No-one uses Bebo any more.
Muslim women have a new social networking site
Now, I can't be sure but judging by various Facebook status updates, one would be forgiven for thinking it was snowing!
Earlier today I saw the facebook group "Kids vs Cancer". It turns out writing "My money is on cancer everytime" is one way to get quite a bit of hate mail.
Did you know people are getting paid to mention products in their Facebook statuses?
That's as crazy as the discounts at Dave's Furniture Emporium...
A smug fucking mate of mine has been copying and pasting jokes from Sickipedia to Facebook and taking all the credit for it. So Sam, if you're reading this; I fucked Katie last Friday. From Matt.
Put this on, you smug fuck.
A religious person came up to me the other day and asked me if I believed in evolution or creationism.
I replied "I believe in evolution. How else would Charmander become Charizard?"
What's interesting is that on porn sites now there is a link 'Share this Video' with Facebook and Twitter symbols.
What's the aim, sharing "How Stella got her tube packed" and "Wombraider" is not going to improve my chances with the opposite sex and my general social standing?