My ex-girlfriend had a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.
If you put your ear to it, I swear you could smell the ocean.
Whenever I go on the pull, I always look for a woman who has a tattoo.
I see a woman with a tattoo and I think "here's a bird who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future."
I was sat in the tattoo parlour earlier when a butterfly flew past with a picture of a slag on its wing.
I saw a scouser yesterday with a nice bird on his arm.
I didn't think the cunts could afford tattoos.
My son's just had a tattoo of a heart, a spade, a club and a diamond.
I'll deal with him later.
This big black prostitute who was also a Chelsea fan, got a tattoo of John Terry and Frank Lampard on the inside of her thighs.
She says to her punter, "If you can guess who they are you get a free shag."
He looks to the left and then to the right and replies, "I dunno who those ugly bastards are but the one in the middle with the fat lips and curly hair is Shaun Wright-Phillips."
A man walked into a tattoo shop.
"Good afternoon sir, what can we do for you?"
"Well, I'm really passionate about my home town, and want something done on my knuckles, you know?"
"No problem sir, what did you want exactly?"
"N-O-R-W-I-C-H on this hand, and C-I-T-Y-F-C on this one."
Nothing says 'I'm unemployed' like having a cannabis tattoo on your arm.
Tattoos are great for preserving memories, otherwise I would have totally forgotten about that anchor.
I've just had my cock tattooed.
I don't give a fuck what the RSPCA says.