Unemployment Jokes

Bored? Broke?

Do you find yourself with over 35 spare hours to fill every week?

Would you like to earn hundreds of pounds every month?

Then get a fucking job like the rest of us, you lazy bastard.
After a major Microsurgery Congress, an American surgeon, a German surgeon and a British surgeon meet in the pub for a drink. Inevitably, they start to talk shop and boast about their achievements.

"A worker in an automobile factory got caught up in a press for sheet metal," says the American surgeon. "All that was left of him was a thumb, so we took it, constructed a new hand, a new arm, a torso, head, legs and so on. The resulting worker was so capable that he put 50 other guys out of a job."

"That's nothing," says the German surgeon. "Last month a young man had an accident in one of our nuclear power stations. All we could find was a single hair, so I took the hair and constructed a new head, a new brain and a complete body. The young man is now so efficient that he has put 200 other men out of a job."

"You think those are achievements?" says the British surgeon. "I was on the street a few years ago when I smelled a fart. Quick as a flash, I pulled out a plastic bag and caught it, then took it to my clinic. I used the matter to create a new anus, then I used my patented techniques to flesh it out until I was able to build a completely new body - with a head and a brain. This bloke is so amazingly efficient that he's put hundreds of thousands out of a job."

"Why haven't we heard of this?" says the American. "What's his name?

"Cameron, David Cameron."