I write all my own jokes. If you like the laughs and the jokes I'm on MySpace - so let me know on here if you'd like to be a buddy, or search for "Aspen Jokes" on MySpace.
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Aspen has a score of 4770 at the moment.
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The best of Aspen's 152 jokes (View All)
| I'm one of those people that likes to read while I'm having a shit. This is also the reason why I'm banned from Waterstones. |    |
Joke by Aspen, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged shit , reading , waterstones - Current Score: 526 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
| The school phoned me today and said, "your son's been telling lies" I said, "well tell him he's bloody good - I ain't got any kids!" | |
Joke by Aspen, in Jokes with no home > School - Tagged school , son , lies , lying - Current Score: 399 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| My younger brother's an example of what can happen to people who get involved with drugs... A porsche and his own house by the age of 20. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Jokes with no home > Drugs - Tagged drugs , brother - Current Score: 239 - Added: 2 months ago
| Nag, nag, nag. My wife even nags during sex... She keeps ringing me up and saying, "where the fuck are you?" | |
Joke by Aspen, in Jokes with no home > Nagging - Tagged nagging , sex , wife - Current Score: 208 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| My wife spends a lot of time on eBay. But no, I still haven't had any bids for her. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Jokes with no home > Wife - Tagged wife , ebay - Current Score: 176 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| We cleared out my gran's flat this morning, sorted out the good stuff and put it on eBay, and then went to the estate agents to put her flat on the market. She'll be well pissed off when she gets back from bingo. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Jokes with no home > Old people - Tagged gran , flat - Current Score: 174 - Added: 3 months, 12 days ago
| It's really embarrassing when you see your parents nude. Especially when you're watching the porn channel with your mates. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Sex and shit > Nude - Tagged nude , naked , parents , porn - Current Score: 160 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I really hate the way women moan about the pain of childbirth. They should try waiting nine months for a shag. | |
Joke by Aspen, in Sex and shit > Babies - Tagged baby , childbirth , shag - Current Score: 152 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I like to tell dirty jokes at work to help make the time go by. One time we laughed so much we nearly dropped the coffin! | |
Joke by Aspen, in Illness and mortality > Funeral - Tagged funeral , coffin , jokes , dirty jokes - Current Score: 151 - Added: 3 months, 9 days ago
| My mate said to me today, "What would you like people to say at your funeral?" I said, "Preferably: 'Look at that! He's fucking coming back to life!'" | |
Joke by Aspen, in Illness and mortality > Funeral - Tagged funeral , death - Current Score: 131 - Added: 2 months ago
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