BIRTHDAYDASTARD has a score of 195 at the moment.
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The best of BIRTHDAYDASTARD's 3 jokes (View All)
| Two policemen were horrified to find a number of the England football team playing football with a hedgehog yesterday. They were just about to phone the RSPCA when they realised the hedgehog was beating them four nil. |    |
Joke by BIRTHDAYDASTARD, in Celebrity and news events > Football - Tagged hedghog , football , england , policemen - Current Score: 114 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Bloke walks into a bar with an elephant. "This elephant will do anything," he announces proudly. "All right," says the barman. "Make it stand on one leg." So the bloke lifts the elephant's ear up and whispers something to the elephant. Moments later the great grey beast lifts itself up onto its hind legs then carefully balances itself up on one leg. The crowd in the bar go wild with enthusiastic cheering. "Very clever," says the barman. "Now lets see it fuck my cat." And so saying, he plonks the genial bar cat onto the bar. The bloke with the elephant thinks a moment then takes the cat and places it on the floor in front of the elephant (who is still poised Bolshoi like on one leg). He gets up on tip toe and whispers something in the elephant's ear. As silence descends on the drinkers in the bar, the man steps back and the elephant teeters over and comes crashing down, splattering Tiddles across the floor. "There you go," says the bloke. "That's fucked it." | |
Joke by BIRTHDAYDASTARD, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged cat , elephant , zoo - Current Score: 37 - Added: 10 months, 30 days ago
| A young lad wanders into Boots the Chemist and asked to buy condoms. The Chemist manages to convince the lad to buy a dozen multicoloured condoms which were on offer. 9 months later the lad is back to buy a maternity bra. "What bust?" asks the chemist. " I think it was the blue one" | |
Joke by BIRTHDAYDASTARD, in Jokes with no home > Childbirth - Tagged condoms , chemist - Current Score: 36 - Added: 10 months, 21 days ago
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