Badvirus has a score of 1697 at the moment.
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The best of Badvirus's 38 jokes (View All)
| I found my local ice cream man lying on the floor outside my house the other day, he was covered in hundreds and thousands...... ....it turned out he had topped himself!! |    |
Joke by Badvirus, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged icecream man , police , topped - Current Score: 165 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A husband walks into the bedroom holding two aspirin and a glass of water. His wife asks, "What's that for?" "It's for your headache." "I don't have a headache!" "Fancy a fuck then?" | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Jokes with no home > Husband - Tagged bedroom , aspirin , headache - Current Score: 135 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A girl visits her doctor and tells him she has terrible discharge. 'Ok, take your knickers off and lets check it out' he says. She drops her knickers and he has a feel around. He says 'how does that feel?' She says 'Ruddy wonderful but the discharge is from my ear'. | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Sex and shit > Doctor - Tagged doctor , discharge , cock , ear - Current Score: 120 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Why is marriage like a three-ring circus? First comes the engagement ring, then comes the wedding ring and finally comes the suffering. | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Jokes with no home > Marriage - Tagged marriage , circus , engagement , wedding , suffering - Current Score: 117 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper? Getting fingered by Captain Hook. | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Sex and shit > Ripper Hook - Tagged ripper , hook - Current Score: 85 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Two Arabs boarded a flight out of New York. One sat in the window seat and the other sat in the middle. Just before take off, An American got on and took the aisle seat. After takeoff, The American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a beer." "No problem," said the American, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, One of the Arabs picked up the American's shoe and spat in it. When he returned with the beer, the other Arab said, "that looks good, I think I'll have one too." Again, the American obligingly went to get it and, while he was gone, the other Arab picked up the other shoe and spat in it. When the American returned to his seat, they all sat back and enjoyed the flight. As the plane was landing, the American slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. He looked at the two Arabs and asked, "why does it have to be this way? How long must this go on, this fighting between our nations? This hatred? This Animosity? This spitting in shoes and pissing in beer?" | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged american , arab , spitting - Current Score: 85 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| One day a builder got home a little early, and found his wife in bed with another man. Purple with rage, he hauled the man down the stairs and into the garage. He then secured the man's cock in a vice. The man shitting himself screamed "Stop! Stop! You're not going to cut it off are you?" "Nope," replied the builder, "You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire." | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged builder , man , wife , garage , fire - Current Score: 85 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| A woman walks into a chemist and asks the man behind the counter if he sells extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes, we do. Would you like to buy some?" She replies, "No, but do you mind if i wait around here until someone does?" | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Sex and shit > Condom - Tagged woman , chemist , condoms - Current Score: 62 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Do you know how copper wire was invented? Two Jews found the same penny. | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Religion and racism > Jews - Tagged jews , copper wire - Current Score: 53 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Women are just like cartons of orange juice, Its not the shape or size that matters, Or even how sweet the juice is, Its getting those fucking flaps open. | |
Joke by Badvirus, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged juice , sweet , flaps - Current Score: 48 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
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