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DanMan has a score of 410 at the moment.
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The best of DanMan's 6 jokes (View All)
| Had the Large Hadron Collider experiment failed, the DFS sale would have actually ended. |    |
Joke by DanMan, in Jokes with no home > LHC - Tagged large hadron collider , lhc , dfs sale - Current Score: 250 - Added: 2 months ago
| A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot. "What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird, and it's an absolute steal at only twenty pounds." "Why is it so cheap?" the woman asks. "Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as a result its language is a touch fruity". "Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home. Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at the woman, "fuck me, a new brothel and a new madam". "I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel," scolds the womantrying not to laugh. A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home. "Un fucking-believable: a new brothel, a new madam, and now two new prostitutes," says the parrot when he sees the daughters. "Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we're not prostitutes," complain the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their new pet. A short while later, the woman's husband, Dave, comes home. "In-fucking-credible: a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes, but the same old clients.... How ya doin', Dave?" | |
Joke by DanMan, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel , parrot , girls , prostitutes - Current Score: 54 - Added: 3 months ago
| When cheating on your wife or girlfriend - make sure that they both have the same length and colour hair so when one asks "who's hair is this?", you can simply say - "It's yours you balding twat". | |
Joke by DanMan, in Sex and shit > cheating - Tagged cheating , wife , hair - Current Score: 30 - Added: 2 months ago
| Before I got into comedy, I was a plumber for 150 years - although that's just an estimate | |
Joke by DanMan, in Jokes with no home > Parachutes - Tagged plumbingestimate - Current Score: 29 - Added: 3 months ago
| All of the USA's problems can be attributed to the fact is it built on a Native American burial ground. | |
Joke by DanMan, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged usa , america , american , burial - Current Score: 22 - Added: 2 months ago
| Crossing an apple with your wife does not result in a computer that never goes down. | |
Joke by DanMan, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged apple computers , fellatio - Current Score: 11 - Added: 2 months ago
Custurd spent 0.07ms doing 12 queries and -0s processing. She's 0.07% angry.
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