Dave has a score of 44 at the moment.
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The best of Dave's 2 jokes (View All)
| A huge mean looking guy with scars on his face and covered in tatoos walks into a bar and goes and stands in the middle of the room. He turns to the guys sitting on his left and shouts "All the guys sitting on this side of the bar are motherfuckers! Any of you got a problem with that?" Then he turns to the right side of the bar and shouts "All the guys sitting on this side of the bar are cocksuckers! Any of you got a problem with that?" Noone wants to mess with this guy so they all look down at their drinks. A man on the left side of the bar gets up and walks towards the tough guy. "What the fuck are you doing?" the tough guy demands. The man says "I think I'm on the wrong side of the bar..." |    |
Joke by Dave, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged bar , drunk , gay - Current Score: 20 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Jesus' disciple, Peter, is watching his master being crucified from the bottom of the hill. Suddenly he hears Jesus call to him, "Peter...Peter!" He immediately starts running up the hill. A Roman soldier blocks his path. "You can't come up here!" the soldier tells him. Peter exclaims, "but my lord is calling me! I must go to him!" and tries to push past the soldier. The soldier takes a club from his belt and smacks Peter round the head with it. Peter falls to the ground, dazed, but he hears Jesus calling to him again, "Peter...Peter!" so he gets up and starts running again. A second Roman soldier blocks his path. The soldier tells him, "you can't come up here," but, again, Peter tries to protest and push past him. The soldier takes his sword from his belt and cuts Peter's arm off. Peter collapses in agony, but he hears Jesus calling to him again so he picks himself up and starts climbing up the rest of hill. Peter is only a few yards from the cross and, seeing a third soldier, he staggers around him as fast as he can. The soldier picks up a spear and throws it at him. The spear hits Peter through the back just as he reaches Jesus' feet. Peter looks up at Jesus and asks him, "Lord...you called for me...I am here..." Jesus looks down at his disciple and says, "Peter...Peter...I can see your house from up here." | |
Joke by Dave, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged religion , jesus , peter - Current Score: 20 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
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