My mummy thinks I am speshul!
Wherever duplicates reside, wherever people post jokes already posted a long time ago...that's where you'll find me, the phantom duplicate merger!
Editors, you may notice that you rarely, if ever, have to edit my jokes for spelling, grammatical and punctuational reasons...if your jokes are the same, you should be proud of yourself, and if not you should be ashamed of yourself. Having to edit your piss-poor jokes with mistakes that'd make an 8 year old wince, it really gets on my fucking nerves (although it adds to my score, obviously :-))...learn when to use "your" and when to use "you're", learn how to hyphenate someone's name if it has an S at the end (like Andrew Sachs, which should be hyphenated "Sachs'" and not "Sach's" or "Sachs's"), learn that ellipses (those multiple dots you see in text which is like a short pause) always come in multiples of 3 (so ".........." is definitely wrong, as is ".." and "...."), and most importantly use FIREFOX to browse and install a fucking spellchecker, it REALLY makes a difference to the amount of mistakes you will make.
Most importantly, break down long sentences into many smaller ones, it's just fucking lazy if you (er...um...) aw, forget that last one :-)
Oh, and I've been informed that someone has been posting on the forum (intentionally or otherwise, I don't know, I assume maliciously) posing as me (with a similar name) and posting jokes and shit...it's NOT me, I don't post on the forum and if I did the name would be "Duplicate" without any letters different (check for a capital i as an L, as in DupIicate, for instance) or any trailing/leading spaces or anything else..."Duplicate.." is not me!
Wherever duplicates reside, wherever people post jokes already posted a long time ago...that's where you'll find me, the phantom duplicate merger!
Editors, you may notice that you rarely, if ever, have to edit my jokes for spelling, grammatical and punctuational reasons...if your jokes are the same, you should be proud of yourself, and if not you should be ashamed of yourself. Having to edit your piss-poor jokes with mistakes that'd make an 8 year old wince, it really gets on my fucking nerves (although it adds to my score, obviously :-))...learn when to use "your" and when to use "you're", learn how to hyphenate someone's name if it has an S at the end (like Andrew Sachs, which should be hyphenated "Sachs'" and not "Sach's" or "Sachs's"), learn that ellipses (those multiple dots you see in text which is like a short pause) always come in multiples of 3 (so ".........." is definitely wrong, as is ".." and "...."), and most importantly use FIREFOX to browse and install a fucking spellchecker, it REALLY makes a difference to the amount of mistakes you will make.
Most importantly, break down long sentences into many smaller ones, it's just fucking lazy if you (er...um...) aw, forget that last one :-)
Oh, and I've been informed that someone has been posting on the forum (intentionally or otherwise, I don't know, I assume maliciously) posing as me (with a similar name) and posting jokes and shit...it's NOT me, I don't post on the forum and if I did the name would be "Duplicate" without any letters different (check for a capital i as an L, as in DupIicate, for instance) or any trailing/leading spaces or anything else..."Duplicate.." is not me!
Duplicate's Statistics
Duplicate has a score of 2705 at the moment.
The score reflects joke quality and moderation rewards.
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The best of Duplicate's 26 jokes (View All)
| I once went 12 years without any sex, drugs or alcohol... ...my GOD, my dad knows how to throw a good 13th birthday party! |    |
Joke by duplicate, in Sex and shit > Age - Tagged 13 , party , birthday , teen , alcohol , drugs , sex - Current Score: 151 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
| Sickipedia: Proof that giving Americans the vote in anything is a bad idea. | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Jokes with no home > Sickipedia - Tagged sickipedia , americans , vote - Current Score: 135 - Added: 2 months, 27 days ago
| My dad walked in on me once when I was doing something naughty in my bedroom and he just sighed, said "you'll go blind if you keep doing that!", and walked out. So I stopped trying to poke myself in the eye with a pencil and had a wank instead. | |
Joke by duplicate, in Sex and shit > Masturbation - Tagged naughty , pencil , poke , blind , wank - Current Score: 82 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
| Last mothers day, Tesco had a competition to find the best mother from all its customers. Somehow I don't think the slogan they decided to use, "Enter your mother today", was that well thought out. | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged tesco , enter your mother today , competition - Current Score: 80 - Added: 2 months ago
| I was such an ugly child, I had to bribe the local paedophile with sweets to get any action | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged ugly , paedophile , sweets , bribe - Current Score: 36 - Added: 2 months ago
| The day that Microsoft creates a product that doesn't suck is the day that they venture into the vacuum cleaner industry | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Jokes with no home > Microsoft - Tagged microsoft , suck , vacuum cleaner - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 month ago
| Two famous black guys dying young... Jade Goody getting cancer... Gary Glitter being released from prison... Carlsberg don't do Sickipedia field days... | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged gary glitter , carlsberg , 4ade goody - Current Score: 27 - Added: 3 months ago
| Geemack wrote: "I've been invited to a Halloween fancy dress party this weekend, I've decided to go as a muslim with a backpack you can't get much fucking scarier than that can you?" Do us all a favour, and go by tube...I'll pick you up outside Stockwell tube and take you wherever you need to go :-) | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Celebrity and news events > Jean Charles De Menezes - Tagged jean charles de menezes , stockwell , shooting , halloween - Current Score: 21 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I am utterly appalled and disgusted with the whole Shannon Matthews thing... ...haven't her parents heard of the phrase "A dog is for life, not just for Christmas"? | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Celebrity and news events > Shannon Matthews - Tagged shannon matthews , dog - Current Score: 16 - Added: 3 days ago
| I insured my car last week with the super-duper-ooper comprehensive plan provided by my local insurance firm, this fucker insures against EVERYTHING except acts of God... ...Imagine my surprise, shock and horror when I discovered Jesus had keyed the driver side of my car and shat in the fucking petrol tank | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Religion and racism > God - Tagged jesus , act of god , insurance - Current Score: 15 - Added: 3 weeks ago
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