Electrohouseman has a score of 626 at the moment.
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The best of Electrohouseman's 13 jokes (View All)
| What does a Paralympian fear the most? Testing positive for WD-40. |    |
Joke by Electrohouseman, in Celebrity and news events > Paralympics - Tagged paralympics , cheat , wd40 - Current Score: 206 - Added: 2 months ago
| I don't know about anyone else, but I didn't mind paying 15 quid to see a paki get twatted on tv. I hope it's on again next week! | |
Joke by Electrohouseman, in Celebrity and news events > Amir Khan - Tagged amir khan , shit , paki , useless - Current Score: 87 - Added: 2 months ago
| Two men are shopping in a supermarket when their trolleys collide. The first guy says, "sorry about that mate, I'm trying to find my wife!" The second guy says, "yeah, me too mate." The first guy says, "maybe I can help, what does she look like?" The second guy answers, "she's tall, blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, great tits and a tight arse. What does yours look like?" The first guy replies, "never mind her, let's find yours!" | |
Joke by electrohouseman, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged shopping , blokes , wives - Current Score: 86 - Added: 7 months ago
| A man goes to the doctor for his test results. The doctor says, 'Mr Smith, do you want the good news or the bad news?' 'Give me the bad news please Doc' he replies. 'OK then' says the doctor, 'you're going to die in 48 hours.' The man is shocked and says, 'well, what's the bloody good news?' The doctor replies, 'we're naming a disease after you.' | |
Joke by electrohouseman, in Illness and mortality > Disease - Tagged disease , doctor , bad news , results , name - Current Score: 74 - Added: 5 months, 22 days ago
| Why is Sickipedia better than a wife? Because the last couple of days it kept going down on me! | |
Joke by electrohouseman, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged sickipedia , down , blow job , wife - Current Score: 55 - Added: 5 months ago
| Mary had a little snatch, a teeny tiny hole, Johnny couldn't fit it in, his massive manly pole. He greased her up squirmed and shoved, and pinched her little tit, but nothing seemed to work for him, the dam thing would not fit! So Mary drank a lot of wine, and smoked a little grass, and just as she was passing out, he shoved it up her ass! | |
Joke by Electrohouseman, in Jokes with no home > Bar Jokes - Tagged rhyme , mary , too tight - Current Score: 33 - Added: 3 months ago
| All this Andrew Sachs saga .. Would have been funnier if Jonathan Ross was in the background doing a Basil Fawlty impression shouting 'Dont mention the whore!'. | |
Joke by electrohouseman, in Celebrity and news events > Andrew Sachs - Tagged andrew sachs , georgina baillie , basil fawlty - Current Score: 18 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Now it's illegal to sleep with a girl who is being controlled by a pimp. That's great news. I'll be the only one shagging my daughter now! | |
Joke by Electrohouseman, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged daughter , pimp , sex - Current Score: 17 - Added: 9 hours ago
| What's the best thing about Alzheimer's disease? You never watch a repeat on TV! | |
Joke by electrohouseman, in Illness and mortality > Alzheimers - Tagged tv , repeats - Current Score: 14 - Added: 6 months, 28 days ago
| A concerned woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this weekend and my fiancee thinks I'm a virgin. Is there anything you can do to help me?" The doctor says, "Medically, no, but here's something you can try. On the wedding night, when you`re getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping." She goes with the idea and knows her hubby probably will fall for this. They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. She goes to the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her new husband. Her husband slides in and she snaps the elastic band. "OUCH! What the fuck was that?" he shouts. "Oh nothing, honey, that was just my virginity snapping." "Well snap it back again, it's wrapped around my balls!" | |
Joke by electrohouseman, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged virginity , wedding , balls - Current Score: 14 - Added: 7 months ago
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